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Step Families

sunshine_in_the_rain

I feel as though I am in totally unchartered territory and would really appreciate some advice.

 

My daughter (ASD) and I have moved in with my new partner.  He understands that she has ASD and has been supportive.  However, I am actutely aware that I have built a bubble world for my daughter to inhabit and now that world is being shattered piece by piece.  She was expected to do very little for herself and the family unit when it was just the two of us and had her own TV room to escape to.  Now, she is being made to do more for herself and share my attention not just with my partner but his three year old son who he has joint custody of.  Obviously, it is not unreasonable that she does things for herself and does not always have my undivided attention but I am beginning to feel like I have let her down.  I am aware that guilt is a huge part of being a parent and in order for my daughter to grow up and function in society she needs to become more independent.  I have kept away from relationships because I always felt that she needed to come first, I am now realising in doing this I have created a very selfish person.

 

How do I ensure she starts to become more independent without her feeling as though she is being pushed out and being made to do things differently?

 

HELP!

  • You're right.  More specific information would be far more useful!

     

    So, my daughter is 13 (14 after christmas), she has high functioning autism and can appear to cope quite well until behind closed doors - her emotional development is around the age of 7 I would imagine.

     

    It has been 'just us' for ten years all in all as she has no contact with her biological father.

     

    Her ASD affects her in so much as she gets stressed easily and has a hard time expressing her desires in a coherent manner, she assumes saying'the blue thing' to someone means they automatically know what 'the blue thing' is. 

     

    I hope this helps shed a bit more light on the situation.

  • You're right.  More specific information would be far more useful!

     

    So, my daughter is 13 (14 after christmas), she has high functioning autism and can appear to cope quite well until behind closed doors - her emotional development is around the age of 7 I would imagine.

     

    It has been 'just us' for ten years all in all as she has no contact with her biological father.

     

    Her ASD affects her in so much as she gets stressed easily and has a hard time expressing her desires in a coherent manner, she assumes saying'the blue thing' to someone means they automatically know what 'the blue thing' is. 

     

    I hope this helps shed a bit more light on the situation.

  • How old is your daughter?  In what ways is she most affected in terms of day to day living? Is she at school yet?

    There are different groups of discussants on here, some parents with pre-school children, some with children at school, some with young adults. If you could provide more information you could get a discussion going with parents in similar situations and share experiences.