New parent to autistic 6 year old

I remember what that feels like so well. Both my son’s are autistic - the youngest diagnosed at ten years old and the eldest in his twenties, and now I’ve been diagnosed as autistic too. 
when my youngest started primary school it was soon apparent that he was struggling with school. What followed was many years of us struggling to get the school and the LA to provide him with the help he needed. He developed Selective Mutism at school too - and that was massively difficult for him and for us. 
If I could go back in time I would want to keep these things uppermost in my mind:

1) Get very well informed about autism and special educational needs support in school. The more informed you are the better.

2) Listen to your child. If they are distressed and struggling always remained attuned to the signals they are sending you, and don’t be afraid to trust your instincts. That might even involve removing them from school if you feel it’s seriously damaging their mental health to be there. 
3) Be firm with the school about your child’s needs, but always be polite and calm so that they have no excuse not to take your concerns seriously. If you become emotional or lose your cool with school staff then that will only make things worse, because you need to keep the relationship you have with the school and LA as positive as you can. Try to be professional and organised in your dealings with them.

4) Always do things in writing where possible. Email is better than phone calls as you’ll have a record of everything. 

I realise the above might make it sound that it’s a battle to get our children the help they need  - but for many it sadly is. Hopefully you’ll have a better time of it than we did. Good luck.

Thank you so much CJ for your reply I will keep all this in mind. There have been two times when I have stood there at the school with the senco and I have just cried I’m not gonna lie. There with me 100% I just didn’t think it would b so hard after getting the diagnosis to actually get things put into place for him 

It’s only natural that we have strong emotions about our children being unhappy at school - please don’t feel bad about feeling tearful occasionally when talking to school staff. Hopefully school staff have the compassion to understand that. I suppose what I mean in terms of controlling our emotions when talking to school staff is more about maintaining friendly relationships with staff whilst simultaneously  being clear and firm about advocating for your child. It can be a difficult balance to get right - especially when you might feel your child’s needs aren’t being met. It’s not easy - and you are only human, so be forgiving of yourself if you struggle sometimes. There is always great support on here I have found - you’re not alone. 

It’s only natural that we have strong emotions about our children being unhappy at school - please don’t feel bad about feeling tearful occasionally when talking to school staff. Hopefully school staff have the compassion to understand that. I suppose what I mean in terms of controlling our emotions when talking to school staff is more about maintaining friendly relationships with staff whilst simultaneously  being clear and firm about advocating for your child. It can be a difficult balance to get right - especially when you might feel your child’s needs aren’t being met. It’s not easy - and you are only human, so be forgiving of yourself if you struggle sometimes. There is always great support on here I have found - you’re not alone.