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New parent to autistic 6 year old

Shell

Hi everyone my son who’s now 6 was diagnosed autistic in June and his now in year 1 at school and is really struggling. I feel like I am constantly hitting a brick wall which isn’t coming down trying to get the help he actually needs. It’s so bad I don’t even no what to do any more. Has anyone got any advice at all as I don’t actually have a clue with all of this 

Parents

  • I remember what that feels like so well. Both my son’s are autistic - the youngest diagnosed at ten years old and the eldest in his twenties, and now I’ve been diagnosed as autistic too. 
    when my youngest started primary school it was soon apparent that he was struggling with school. What followed was many years of us struggling to get the school and the LA to provide him with the help he needed. He developed Selective Mutism at school too - and that was massively difficult for him and for us. 
    If I could go back in time I would want to keep these things uppermost in my mind:

    1) Get very well informed about autism and special educational needs support in school. The more informed you are the better.

    2) Listen to your child. If they are distressed and struggling always remained attuned to the signals they are sending you, and don’t be afraid to trust your instincts. That might even involve removing them from school if you feel it’s seriously damaging their mental health to be there. 
    3) Be firm with the school about your child’s needs, but always be polite and calm so that they have no excuse not to take your concerns seriously. If you become emotional or lose your cool with school staff then that will only make things worse, because you need to keep the relationship you have with the school and LA as positive as you can. Try to be professional and organised in your dealings with them.

    4) Always do things in writing where possible. Email is better than phone calls as you’ll have a record of everything. 

    I realise the above might make it sound that it’s a battle to get our children the help they need  - but for many it sadly is. Hopefully you’ll have a better time of it than we did. Good luck.

  • in reply to Kate Kestrel
    Kate Kestrel said:
    Listen to your child. If they are distressed and struggling always remained attuned to the signals they are sending you

    Just a thought on this (it is a great suggestion by the way), since autism is highly genetic there is a good chance that one or both parents could also be undiagnosed.

    The reason I mention this is that autists often struggle to pick up on these signals so it would be well worth checking in case additional support for the parents is also required.

    You can take a free online test here if you want:

    https://www.thevividmind.org/blog/test/autism-test-online/

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