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Severe anxiety school refusal

NAS89174

Hi everyone my little boy is 12 and has autism and tyoe 1 diabetes he is also being tested for ADHD. Currently he is having autistic meltdowns in school reception, it takes a lot of physical effort just to get him through the doors. He is refusing school, resulting in kicking and punching everyone around him. I have spoken to the SENCO and she says she does not know what to do. Today I took him to the GP who said he has anxiety and the best way to deal with that is to attend school. Im talking to IPSEA as soon as I can get through. Im speaking to the senco and the deputy head, ive got my son counselling with no limits which is starting soon. 

However non of this helps at the moment, he is waking several times a night each time crying out is it time for school yet? Its heartbreaking. Ive read the book the explosive child and its not helping really. 

Does anyone anywhere have any suggestions? anything at all that will help?

Thanks

Sammy

Parents

  • I think the GP is probably thinking that exposure will help but in my experience if anxiety and overwhelm reach crisis level then more exposure will make it worse. And you first need to take a step back, recuperate and calm down before if necessary slowly exposing yourself to what is causing anxiety. I like to think of this analogy- imagine you have someone who cannot swim and is scared of water. They need to ideally learn how to swim but it would be very hard for them to do so whilst drowning in deep turbulent water. You would first take them out of the water and then gradually practice maybe at a shallow safe place before ultimately working your way up to the deep water once ready. I don’t know your son etc but I think it is naive to expect it just to get better by keeping things as they are. Unless they make major changes at school is there any way you could reduce his hours or home school- at least for awhile? It doesn’t have to be permanent but my instinct is that in this severe state of stress , more exposure to school will not help and may make it even worse.

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  • I think the GP is probably thinking that exposure will help but in my experience if anxiety and overwhelm reach crisis level then more exposure will make it worse. And you first need to take a step back, recuperate and calm down before if necessary slowly exposing yourself to what is causing anxiety. I like to think of this analogy- imagine you have someone who cannot swim and is scared of water. They need to ideally learn how to swim but it would be very hard for them to do so whilst drowning in deep turbulent water. You would first take them out of the water and then gradually practice maybe at a shallow safe place before ultimately working your way up to the deep water once ready. I don’t know your son etc but I think it is naive to expect it just to get better by keeping things as they are. Unless they make major changes at school is there any way you could reduce his hours or home school- at least for awhile? It doesn’t have to be permanent but my instinct is that in this severe state of stress , more exposure to school will not help and may make it even worse.

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