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Severe anxiety school refusal

NAS89174

Hi everyone my little boy is 12 and has autism and tyoe 1 diabetes he is also being tested for ADHD. Currently he is having autistic meltdowns in school reception, it takes a lot of physical effort just to get him through the doors. He is refusing school, resulting in kicking and punching everyone around him. I have spoken to the SENCO and she says she does not know what to do. Today I took him to the GP who said he has anxiety and the best way to deal with that is to attend school. Im talking to IPSEA as soon as I can get through. Im speaking to the senco and the deputy head, ive got my son counselling with no limits which is starting soon. 

However non of this helps at the moment, he is waking several times a night each time crying out is it time for school yet? Its heartbreaking. Ive read the book the explosive child and its not helping really. 

Does anyone anywhere have any suggestions? anything at all that will help?

Thanks

Sammy

Parents

  • My son has anxiety with getting into school. After lockdowns and not having to go, it took until the last term last year for him to get in every day. He is now Year 11. My son has the added problem of a lower ability than most, so part of his problems have been the actual work, some teachers that did not understand his needing very clear instructions and also registration. I don't know whether for your son it is knowing what to do, not liking to ask or just the environment. 

    Ask him what things he finds difficult, is it entering school with lots of people, registration, assembly, moving around busy corridors, noisy dinner hall, break and lunch times, using the school toilet (strong smell if he has hyper sensitivity), discomfort of uniform, changing for P.E. ( my son wears PE shorts under his trousers) or specific lessons/members of staff. Is he used to telling you when things are difficult, but not have anyone he feels he could tell at school if overwhelmed?

    I have listed below some things that might help to get him into school and be happy to stay.

    A reduced timetable or part time school for a while, gradually increasing.

    Can he register in Learning Support if that is easier than form?

    Can he arrive after others or before, or arrange to meet one or two others so he is not entering with a crowd alone?

    Can he go to Learning Support or somewhere else if he feels overwhelmed?

    Can he have an agreement to leave to change class before or after others if the busy corridors are a problem?

    Do the school have somewhere he can go to do something quiet at lunchtimes? Ours have a lunch club for those who can't cope outside.

    Can he decide where he sits in the room for each lesson? Would he feel more comfortable sitting at the back?

    Do the school have a card system where they can use it to leave the room if overwhelmed?

Reply

  • My son has anxiety with getting into school. After lockdowns and not having to go, it took until the last term last year for him to get in every day. He is now Year 11. My son has the added problem of a lower ability than most, so part of his problems have been the actual work, some teachers that did not understand his needing very clear instructions and also registration. I don't know whether for your son it is knowing what to do, not liking to ask or just the environment. 

    Ask him what things he finds difficult, is it entering school with lots of people, registration, assembly, moving around busy corridors, noisy dinner hall, break and lunch times, using the school toilet (strong smell if he has hyper sensitivity), discomfort of uniform, changing for P.E. ( my son wears PE shorts under his trousers) or specific lessons/members of staff. Is he used to telling you when things are difficult, but not have anyone he feels he could tell at school if overwhelmed?

    I have listed below some things that might help to get him into school and be happy to stay.

    A reduced timetable or part time school for a while, gradually increasing.

    Can he register in Learning Support if that is easier than form?

    Can he arrive after others or before, or arrange to meet one or two others so he is not entering with a crowd alone?

    Can he go to Learning Support or somewhere else if he feels overwhelmed?

    Can he have an agreement to leave to change class before or after others if the busy corridors are a problem?

    Do the school have somewhere he can go to do something quiet at lunchtimes? Ours have a lunch club for those who can't cope outside.

    Can he decide where he sits in the room for each lesson? Would he feel more comfortable sitting at the back?

    Do the school have a card system where they can use it to leave the room if overwhelmed?

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