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Advice needed about school, please

NAS88834

Hey! 

I am really struggling with how to help support my 14year old daughter. She was just diagnosed in July this year. 

School is progressively becoming more difficult.  She hasn’t been in two weeks. She masks all day, becomes exhausted/overwhelmed and burnout. It’s heartbreaking. 

I’ve went into school and got her timetable cut back, made changes to a few classes that are the most difficult. But now she wants me to put her timetable back to the way it was. 

The changes are causing her more anxiety than the difficulties she is already dealing with.

I’m really at a loss and feel like I can’t win. Either way, she’s going to be miserable. 

Parents

  • There is a very good range of advice offered by this site on this subject:

    https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/education/extra-help-at-school

    I would get in touch with the SENCO (ie special needs co-ordinator) at the school and talk this through with them.

    She is at an age where she probably desperately wants to fit in but lacks the capacity to do so, but changes to allow her to cope are going to be stressful (autists often struggle really badly with change) so you probably need to sit down with your daughter and the SENCO to agree a solution to get her to agree to it.

    Just making the change one time may be enough, but with her being a part of the decision and feeling some control it may help her to a adapt and stick with it.

    There are also some books that may help you both in the long run:

    Asperger's Syndrome - A Guide to Helping Your Child Thrive at Home and at School - Melinda Docter, Ed.D._ Syed Naqvi, MD (2010)
    ISBN 9780470140147

    Aspergirls - empowering females with Asperger Syndrome - Rudy Simone (2012)
    ISBN 9781849058261

    Why Aren't Normal People Normal - A Girl's Survival Guide to Growing Up with Asperger Syndrome - Olley Edwards (2013)
    no ISBN given

    Women and Girls with Autism Spectrum Disorder, Understanding Life Experiences from Early Childhood to Old Age - Sarah Hendrickx, Judith Gould (2015)
    ISBN 978 1 84905 547 5

    Autism in heels -  the untold story of a female life on the spectrum - O'Toole, Jennifer Cook (2018)
    ISBN 9781510732841

    Six-Word Lessons on Female Asperger Syndrome - 100 Lessons to Understand and Support Girls and Women with Asperger's - Tracey Cohen (2015)
    (no ISBN)

    The Spectrum Girl's Survival Guide, How to Grow Up Awesome and Autistic - Siena Castellon (2020)
    ISBN 9781787751835

    You should be able to find these on sites like Amazon but check the reviews to see if they sound right for you.

Reply

  • There is a very good range of advice offered by this site on this subject:

    https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/education/extra-help-at-school

    I would get in touch with the SENCO (ie special needs co-ordinator) at the school and talk this through with them.

    She is at an age where she probably desperately wants to fit in but lacks the capacity to do so, but changes to allow her to cope are going to be stressful (autists often struggle really badly with change) so you probably need to sit down with your daughter and the SENCO to agree a solution to get her to agree to it.

    Just making the change one time may be enough, but with her being a part of the decision and feeling some control it may help her to a adapt and stick with it.

    There are also some books that may help you both in the long run:

    Asperger's Syndrome - A Guide to Helping Your Child Thrive at Home and at School - Melinda Docter, Ed.D._ Syed Naqvi, MD (2010)
    ISBN 9780470140147

    Aspergirls - empowering females with Asperger Syndrome - Rudy Simone (2012)
    ISBN 9781849058261

    Why Aren't Normal People Normal - A Girl's Survival Guide to Growing Up with Asperger Syndrome - Olley Edwards (2013)
    no ISBN given

    Women and Girls with Autism Spectrum Disorder, Understanding Life Experiences from Early Childhood to Old Age - Sarah Hendrickx, Judith Gould (2015)
    ISBN 978 1 84905 547 5

    Autism in heels -  the untold story of a female life on the spectrum - O'Toole, Jennifer Cook (2018)
    ISBN 9781510732841

    Six-Word Lessons on Female Asperger Syndrome - 100 Lessons to Understand and Support Girls and Women with Asperger's - Tracey Cohen (2015)
    (no ISBN)

    The Spectrum Girl's Survival Guide, How to Grow Up Awesome and Autistic - Siena Castellon (2020)
    ISBN 9781787751835

    You should be able to find these on sites like Amazon but check the reviews to see if they sound right for you.

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