Anxiety Struggles

Anxy73 said:

The best way to describe it is that he's living in a 24/7 panic attack.

It is possible for the body to get stuck in a state of hyper arousal, when anxiety levels have been so high for a long time the body is constantly secreting stress hormones and that becomes the new normal operating state. When someone has a very high baseline anxiety to start with then almost anything will seem completely overwhelming.

Anxy73 said:

He was referred to CAMHS, but they said his anxiety was too severe for them to deal with.

He may have had a lucky escape. I have read lots of accounts online of how their approach made the anxiety significantly worse. 

There is still a significant lack of knowledge and understanding in mental health services about how to help autistic people with anxiety. In many cases they will refuse to see autistic people at all, wrongly claiming that the anxiety is part of autism. I suspect it is more to do with the fact that they do not have the skills or experience to know how to help. Any case that is seen as 'too complex' is immediately dismissed.

https://emergentdivergence.com/2023/08/14/how-camhs-tier-system-obstructs-autistic-young-people-from-accessing-support/

Standard CBT therapies are often not effective for many reasons. The anxiety may be actually rational response to real challenges such as sensory overwhelm. Autistica are doing ongoing research into this and have produced an app to help autistic people with anxiety.

https://www.autistica.org.uk/molehill-mountain

One of the best resources I have come across is the book 'Avoiding Anxiety in Autistic Adults' by DR Luke Beardon, a senior lecturer in autism studies.

Anxy73 said:

He says his main worry is being able to socialise. And not, in his words 'stick out like a sore thumb, say something wrong

Socialising with other autistic people should be easier. as they will be much more understanding of any differences. It is known as the double empathy problem.

https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/professional-practice/double-empathy

Socialising one to one is generally easier than in a group setting. Socialising in a group setting may only work if it is activity based related to a specific interest. 

Socialising online tends to be the preferred option for many autists. He could join an online community such as this one.

It's important for him to understand that socialising isn't compulsory. Many autistic people choose not to socialise in person at all (myself included). I tried so hard for so many years, before I realised I was autistic, but in the end decided it just wasn't for me. Socialising is supposed to be enjoyable and if it isn't why do it? 

There was some recent research on social anxiety in autistic people, reporting existing CBT therapies are ineffective in 90% of cases, actually actively unhelpful in 65% of cases.

https://www.autistica.org.uk/downloads/files/Social-Anxiety-Study-Feedback-to-participants.pdf?

Anxy73 said:

Our GP has been no help. He's just told us to basically crack on unt he's 18 and then they can give him anxiety meds.

Personally I'm not convinced medication is always the answer. Maybe that's why the GP wants to wait until he 18, to be sure it is definitely what he wants. My experience of antidepressants prescribed for severe anxiety was horrendous. 

Thank you.  There certainly is a lot to think about.

I'll certainly have a look through all these articles, I'm sure they'll be a massive help.

I definitely want to avoid medication if I can. I've been on anxiety meds for a while and, like you say, the side effects can be awful.

As a parent it's hard to know what to do for the best sometimes. This has really helped - thanks again 

I hope you find something to help. Living with severe and constant anxiety is tough.

Another useful website, aimed at autistic young people, is this one:

https://autismunderstood.co.uk/co-occurring-conditions/anxiety/

Thanks Autonomistic,

That's really helpful. I'll have a good look through all these this evening 

Thanks Autonomistic,

That's really helpful. I'll have a good look through all these this evening