• Replies 2 replies
  • Subscribers 68 subscribers
  • Views 786 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

Nephew has recent diagnosis of autism...

NAS88523

...and my sister has been really struggling with him for some time. He is attending a normal secondary school (he received a scholarship), and is extremely clever. However, he is incapable of really understanding the impact of his actions on others, and is unable to think of anything except his own immediate desires, which essentially is either playing computer games on his PC or on his phone.

My sister tried to confiscate his phone, but he started to cut himself until she gave it back.

He has been refusing to go to school for some time, and is now refusing to go on an expensive holiday that she has booked, with them due to leave first thing tomorrow morning.

She's at her wits end, and really really struggling.

Does anyone have any relevant experience and can suggest a strategy to encourage him to go on the lovely holiday she has booked for her family?

Thank you very much.

  • Sounds like your nephew could use a holiday from life. 

    Relationships are built on shared experience. Autistic thinking can be far too unique to the extreme we share how we perceive and understand the world in isolation. Sounds like he's simply had enough.

    Stop everything, and spend time learning to see how he sees the world and everything will change from there. As parents, we have one job. Holidays aren't very holy when one feels condemned and continually rejected. 

  • Unfortunately I think you’ve left it a bit late to ask for strategies about the holiday. Change can be very upsetting to autistic people so it’s best to talk about it for quite a long time leading up to it and show photos of the accommodation and Google street view of the place etc etc. Do you know why he doesn’t want to go to school? Is it too bright, too noisy, too boring because  the work is too easy, is he being bullied? All of the above? There will be an underlying root cause but as frustrating as it can be as a parent faced with challenging behaviour  punishment really isn’t the answer. Understanding what is happening in his world will help more than trying to force him to live “normally” without knowing why he is struggling and retreating to the safety of playing games in his room.