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Worried about my son

John

I’m hoping someone here can help me regarding my son. His name is Matthew and he’s 26. Matthew has autism, he was diagnosed aged 10 and since then he’s never really grown up. He still plays with toys and loves to do imaginary play, sometimes on his own and sometimes with me and his mum. A while back he began to act differently, like other people where he adjusted his voice and his walk and actions. We found that he’s been doing this on his phone online. I discovered a lot of emails with different names, different genders which he says are his friends. I am worried now that this isn’t imaginary play and is becoming something else. I confess I don’t know much about autism but me and his mum have always supported Matthew through thick and thin. We support and encourage him in every way we can. We only want what’s best for him.

Regarding this I don’t know what to do to help Matthew. I’ve been online but it suggests so many potential things and half of them I don't think he's got anyway. It sounds a bit like split personality but I don't think so. I’m reluctant to seek professional help as professionals have dealt with Matthew before and in my opinion they made him worse. He doesn’t understand them and doesn’t really know what’s going on. As I said, he still like a child. Every time he saw them he had meltdowns, panic attacks and would refuse to leave the house sometimes for months after. I still think a lot of what Matt says and does is just him playing but I would like to ask here if anyone’s experienced this? If so could you tell me what’s up because I don’t know a lot about autism and if this is it or something else?

With kind regards and thanks, John.

Parents

  • Hi John, could you elaborate on what you mean by ‘play’ and ‘like a child’, if I may be so bold..?

  • in reply to DeSpereaux

    He still plays with his toys and make believe games. Mentally I would say Matthew is more childlike like his mental age must be about 9. Sorry if I wasn't clear before.

  • in reply to John

    So are you saying that his interests are the interests of nine year olds? Or are you saying he has the mental capacity of a nine year old?

    What was it, did you consider, was the reason his contact with professional was aggravating things..?

    What did you consider ‘split personality’ to mean in his case? Was it the change in his mood of stress levels in different environments? Say the home and in public?

  • in reply to John

    Stress and mood are like waves on a heart-monitor, except they should go a certain-amount up and an equal-amount down. If Matt is physically preventing himself from being overtly-concerned in a situation, his low-mood will not be sad as normal, but instead it will go right down into depression without resistance. 

    The immediate-problem there is not with the willingness to validate depressive-thoughts and behaviours, the problem is with the disqualifying of positivity and the resistance to risk, Matt special-interests will help him justify-risk and feel-good.

    So perhaps whenever the next Comic-con is showing, you could take him there, or whenever the next NEET course becomes available, you could urge him to sign up. But any push you make for development must be proactive in nature, don’t be proactive in combating a depressive attack, be proactive with his interest..:)

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  • in reply to John

    Stress and mood are like waves on a heart-monitor, except they should go a certain-amount up and an equal-amount down. If Matt is physically preventing himself from being overtly-concerned in a situation, his low-mood will not be sad as normal, but instead it will go right down into depression without resistance. 

    The immediate-problem there is not with the willingness to validate depressive-thoughts and behaviours, the problem is with the disqualifying of positivity and the resistance to risk, Matt special-interests will help him justify-risk and feel-good.

    So perhaps whenever the next Comic-con is showing, you could take him there, or whenever the next NEET course becomes available, you could urge him to sign up. But any push you make for development must be proactive in nature, don’t be proactive in combating a depressive attack, be proactive with his interest..:)

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