Son depressed. At a loss about how to help him

My 32 year old son was diagnosed as being autistic 4 years ago.  He also has quadriplegic Cerebral Palsy - from birth - is wheelchair dependent and reliant on assistance with all activities of daily living.  He is very bright and articulate, attended mainstream education and gained a first class honours degree at university.  He has always been motivated and outgoing but doesn’t have many friends.  He lives independently with 24 hour care.  His life was fulfilled - he had some work, visited the theatre, cinema, travelled and was generally happy with a unique approach to daily living that relied on consistency, planning and avoiding change and stress.  The Covid came and work ceased and he was confined to his flat.  Since then his life has shrunk and with it his motivation.  He never goes out to the theatre or cinema only leaving the flat to come home to us, attend physio and hydrotherapy or go to appointments.  He is continually anxious and paranoid about people around him, very quiet, sometimes has screaming and crying bouts, stays in his room for days at a time and doesn’t engage with people.  He has had input from the mental health services but that has stopped and seen a psychotherapist but won’t engage with the activities and advice.  I am at the end of my tether and feel so sad for him with no idea how to help.  His anti-depressant was increased and seemed to work for a while but not at the moment.  I know he is depressed and has to contend with his physical disability as well as autism but I don’t know where to go for help and support.  I wondered if anyone else has been in a similar situation and if so what helped them, where did they go for support.  Thank you.

Parents
  • Hi there, 

    I am so sorry to hear what you're going through with your son. It sounds like a very tricky situation indeed. 

    I am not wheelchair bound, but I am around the same age and have lots of other difficulties outside of autism. I feel like the pandemic has a lot to answer for, for some of us. I also used to be fairly outgoing and went out to things on evenings and weekends, but since the lockdowns I think I've lost a lot of confidence and now don't leave my flat much (I work from home). 

    Can you encourage him to find work by searching online? Can you show him this forum? He would be welcome to start making posts and interracting with other people here. It's a really friendly place where he might find like-minded people to chat to. 

    Well done for being such a caring and supportive mum I am sure he is eternally grateful to have you!

Reply
  • Hi there, 

    I am so sorry to hear what you're going through with your son. It sounds like a very tricky situation indeed. 

    I am not wheelchair bound, but I am around the same age and have lots of other difficulties outside of autism. I feel like the pandemic has a lot to answer for, for some of us. I also used to be fairly outgoing and went out to things on evenings and weekends, but since the lockdowns I think I've lost a lot of confidence and now don't leave my flat much (I work from home). 

    Can you encourage him to find work by searching online? Can you show him this forum? He would be welcome to start making posts and interracting with other people here. It's a really friendly place where he might find like-minded people to chat to. 

    Well done for being such a caring and supportive mum I am sure he is eternally grateful to have you!

Children