Am soooo angry,:-/

Let us know how it goes Sniffy.

Sounds as though she's denying there's anything wrong because it would mean that your son may require extra support, which she can't be bothered to do?

Sounds very familiar. SENCO told me there's nothing wrong with me (I have a diagnosis) because it meant they would be required to provide me support. They had the nerve to send me a letter about something and said how they hope to see me there. (I hadn't applied there yet) I decided I was better off not attending a college who don't support disabled people and would rather do an 80 mile round trip each week to somewhere that will support me.

Regardless of whether he has a formal diagnosis, if he has needs, he has needs.

Most children aren't like you describe - in terms of the hand flapping, walking around the playground alone, not wanting to play with others, etc.

thankyou for all your advice guys, its so nice to come on here and know im not the only one going through this, he doesnt havent a formal diagnosis as of yet however we are due to see consultant tommorow so hopfully will have more of an idea then, and i am definently going to take this further, am in process of writing a letter but am waiting for a little while because i am still quite angry at the moment and think i need to cool down beffore i actually send it, am also going to wait until seen consultant tommorow at least then hopefully i will have hard evidence to back myself up, at present with his school i am being made to feel like im a over protective mum who is trying get my son diagnosed with somthing when hes perfectly fine (if that makes sense,lol) why i would do that though is beyond me?? Am hoping so Crystal12, are conducting my own bit of research and looking through here my son displays very typical asd traits, combined with his diagnosis at 4yrs old, am hoping the visit to consultant tommorw is just a formality, (famous last words eh,lol) wot angers me more though is when i ask him wot hes bin upto at school at playtimes he tells me he just walks around the playground by himself, my first thought he was being bullied, however he tells me that other children do ask him to play with them he said he just prefers to be on his own, when i spoke to school bout this they said they had noticed 6mths ago but bacuase he seemed happy enough they didnt think to mention it to me!! it was only after coming on here that i found out this is typical asd, but this woman is supposed to be trained in this, it doesnt take a genius to put together the hand flapping, feet stamping, finger biting and walking round the playground by himself to conlcude asd, i found this out after 5 mins on the internet and this woman has had 20yrs experiance and she still insists theres nothing wrong and im a drama queen!!! sorry peeps, relaise im ranting, am sure lots of you have felt the same way at some point along the way,as soon as i have seen consultant tommorw that woman not going to know wot hit her.

Um, is she aware that Autism is a spectrum? Yes, in some people it's pretty obvious and in others, less so.

I was once told by SENCO that I don't have Autism. She doesn't know me and there are people out there who know me much better who also claim I have it. And I do have a diagnosis. Like some people, (your son might be one of them) I hide some of the problems I'm having. For example, I hate large groups of strange people; but for my own sake, I will not make an issue out of this whilst present.

I've had a VERY similar scenario!  A so called experienced 'specialist teacher' who 'knows what autism looks like' (?!?) who considered there was nothing wrong with my child apart from, perhaps, a mild speech and language problem.  He was apparently 'just one of "THOSE" children'... and so it went on.  He'd already been diagnosed global developmental delay and dyspraxia.  Fast forward 6 months.  Diagnosed with moderate/severe autism and moderate/severe learning disability.  Makes you wonder doesn't it?  I was furious with her.  On the up side, she feels a bit daft now    Trust your instincts and don't let anyone get in your way. 

W O W!  That is just totally beyond belief.  I can understand how badly you feel with having her being in a position of power over your son.  Yes, complain as has been suggested + put it in writing, keeping a copy for yourself.  Do you think your son will get a diagnosis?  It would help if he got 1 in time for his move to high school.  Yes, kick up a right old stink!

Sniffy

this lady sounds a nightmare! Sadly some SENCOS and even health professionals are woefully ignorant about asperegers/autism and show their ignorance by such comments.I have two sons ages 22 and 17 on the autistic spectrum and as you can imagine I have had my share of totally misguided comments over the years and still do sometimes.I presonally would make an appointment with the headteacher and also have someone with you from Parent Partnership or a advocate as this is a tototally disturbing senario esocially with the lady asking to film your child! I am amazed she asked and quite frankly it is TOTALLY INNAPROPRIATE.I really question why she would want to do this, the reason she gave is quite frankly just sick and who she would want to show and also I would if she had said it about my child tell the school I consider it bullying! As far as I am conerned reading your commnents I am of the mind she is discrimating against a child on the autistic spectrum.I make sure I put things in writing so I have a paper trail.From what I can see the issue is your son  and his understandable ASD traits but with her becuase of her woeful lack of understandign of autism.The more she stresses him the more he will exhibit such behaviour.