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Preparing to get the bus to school

ParentingAutism

In all honesty, I am nervous. My daughter will need to get the bus to and from school next year in order to go to school which is what she wants. 

I really don't know how to help her with this transition. She loves getting the bus but she is always with a family member. She did have to get the bus to a local mainstream school and that caused hideous meltdowns and anxiety mainly because of the school kids on them.

I am worried that she will not cope if there are school kids on them which is likely. I can't walk her to the bus stop because I need to take both my other children to school at the same time. 

I do know she will be fine walking to the bus stop from home and getting off the bus after school. I feel she will massively struggle with walking to school and walking away from school. There is a McDonalds round the corner and many shops which I know she will be tempted to go to. I also fear how she would react if the bus was late in the morning to get to school and what would happen if the bus got stuck in traffic. Its a 40 minute journey without traffic. Also what will happen if she refuses to leave school and go home or if she has a bad day and is dysregulated. I am not able to come and collect her because I will need to get the kids from school and my husband will be working but if one of us does, it will take an hour to get to school. I have said that if we do need to get her then she will not go back, unless it's because of the bus or something out of our and hers control.

How can I help with this and also she will be extremely anxious already because of the other changes and she has not done a full school day for the whole school year so who knows how she'll cope. She might surprise us yet but we always prepare for the worst. 

  • in reply to ParentingAutism

    I am not sure what you mean by "they said she can't be in ... due to not enough staff"  but I am guessing ... it is illegal for a school to require a child to stay off school unless she has been excluded for disciplinary reasons. In that case, you must be notified in writing, and you have a right of appeal. Exclusion because of a child's disability is discrimination. "Staff shortage" is no excuse. A child may only be excluded by the Head Teacher. If your child has been excluded illegally, contact the Exclusions Officer at the local education authority, and send a complaint about the Head Teacher to the Chair of Governors. If it happens regularly or the school are not willing to change, you can go to SENDIST.

    The only exception would be if the whole school or a particular year were to be closed, e.g. due to snow, floods or other reasons, and even then there should be somebody at the school in case kids turn up.

  • in reply to Ian

    She does have a hidden disability lanyard and card and a separate card to show the bus driver. She does have a phone and has the contact numbers for everyone and the school for worst case scenario. I also have passed her number onto the school so they have it because if there was a problem on the school side, I am not contactable in the morning before school hours therefore will not get the message so will have to contact her directly. 

    For example, they have said she can't be in quite a few times due to not enough staf, traffic but she would be on the bus before staff even arrive to the school therefore we would have great issues if the said she can't be in, aswell as other students. 

  • in reply to ParentingAutism
    ParentingAutism said:
    The students I'm talking about are from the local mainstream school around the area. 

    Just thinking out loud here - do you think some kind of body cam may be useful in case she has any unpleasant encounters with these mainstream school kids? They can be complete monsters from what I recall of that age - real Lord Of The Flies stuff at times.

    This would give some reassurance to your daughter and discourage the kids from harassing your daughter. In the worst case it would help identify the kids in question and allow you to file a complaint to their scool and the police.

  • in reply to Iain

    She used to get a taxi to school but since she turned 16 she was no longer able to unless we paid for it which we did not have the money to and still don't. 

    Her school is an autism specialist school with up to 20 students who all get taxis and she doesn't have a problem with this. The students I'm talking about are from the local mainstream school around the area. 

    The school does and is teaching her life skills, speech and language therapy and learning about feelings, zones of Regulation and expected and unexpected behaviours. 

  • Does your daughter have one of those " I am autistic" cards?  Perhaps she could keep it with her bus pass to show the driver if there is a problem. Make sure she has a contact number for you and for the school. When I was at school, in the days before mobile phones, Mum sewed some coins in the lining of my school blazer, enough for a phone call and my bus fare home. Does she have a mobile phone, if so make sure it is programmed with numbers for the school, you and any emergency contacts such as a relative or trusted friend.

    Sorry if I am saying the obvious!

  • ParentingAutism said:
    I do know she will be fine walking to the bus stop from home and getting off the bus after school. I feel she will massively struggle with walking to school and walking away from school.

    You could discuss this with support at school to see if there is an option for a taxi for her? This will help due to the time it would take for one of you to get to her in the event of a meltdown.

    Since her issues stem from being around other schoolkids then is she not troubled when in school too?

    Another thing I would be chasing your GP and also the school for is some therapy for her to develop better coping mechanisms which may allow her to live a more independent life.

  • Hello ,

    Thank you for sharing this with the community. You may find it useful to have a look at the following page from the NAS on 'Social Stories' which can help with coping with change and novel situations: https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/communication/communication-tools/social-stories-and-comic-strip-coversations

    I hope this helps,

    ChloeMod