• Replies 4 replies
  • Subscribers 70 subscribers
  • Views 1034 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

Please someone advise? ASD/ADHD

NAS87796

Hi all,

im new to all of this so please bear with me 

I have two boys 9 and 6. 
both are awaiting assessment for ASD/ADHD.

Their melt downs are severe, we have running off, opening car doors when moving (had to have different locks fitted so I can lock from the inside and they can’t get out)

smashing our home up, damaging sentimental items and saying extremely nasty things.

I have had these issues for some years now, I’ve tried so hard with school to get help but because they mask at school/ they don’t want to help, they have suggested it is my parenting style which has lead me into depression. I do not let them get their own way, they are told what is right and wrong and can be very loving boys. I have been told that a lot of children mask at school to fit in with their peers and let the emotional outbursts out at home where they feel safe to be themselves. 

I know this all too well as I am still the same now and I have adhd, I behaved at school but had a lot of melt downs when I was younger.

I am really struggling with how to handle these melt downs and it is getting out of hand to the point they are using violence and hurting me and others around them at the time.I really am at my whits end and I am unsure where to turn.

thankyou so so much If you have read all of this x

Parents

  • Generally speaking it is the place, in which they mask, that is the source of the issues, when they are melting-down at home but quiet at school.  
    So don’t feel sad on account of teachers scapegoating you, because they are scapegoating you to avoid taking-responsibility on their end, try to explain to the teachers that it is only healthy for you and your children to accept the appropriate-level of accountability, the other-half is the school’s. 
    It may be worth considering what your children are masking from, their peers or their mentors, or the process of being at school? If you can identify that then you’ll have a better-idea of what to validate, what to reassure, what to listen out for, what to distract them from. 
    Don’t be depressed if you can help it, because it can’t be easy dealing with odd and unrewarding behaviour I’m sure, it cannot be easy when the school has a faulty sense of accountability. It’s not close to being all on you..:)

Reply

  • Generally speaking it is the place, in which they mask, that is the source of the issues, when they are melting-down at home but quiet at school.  
    So don’t feel sad on account of teachers scapegoating you, because they are scapegoating you to avoid taking-responsibility on their end, try to explain to the teachers that it is only healthy for you and your children to accept the appropriate-level of accountability, the other-half is the school’s. 
    It may be worth considering what your children are masking from, their peers or their mentors, or the process of being at school? If you can identify that then you’ll have a better-idea of what to validate, what to reassure, what to listen out for, what to distract them from. 
    Don’t be depressed if you can help it, because it can’t be easy dealing with odd and unrewarding behaviour I’m sure, it cannot be easy when the school has a faulty sense of accountability. It’s not close to being all on you..:)

Children
No Data