My 28 year old daughter is undiagnosed but we think autistic and other family members who have experience of working in this area think the same about her. She does have a job but she works from home part time she has had about ten years of struggle - anorexia, dropping out of uni, going back to uni, trying to live in two independent flat shares and then being asked to leave or it not working out. She is socially isolated and is often dropped by anyone she meets, she cannot sustain relationships easily.
She does not speak to us and spends hours in her room and is a bit of a hoarder, her room is covered in stuff, can't see the floor. Things are getting worse as she gets older as she has very few friends and the ones she thinks of as her friends are drifting away doing normal stuff, travelling and getting married soon having children.
I did years ago mention autism to a psych she was seeing because of depression and anorexia and they dismissed this and told my daughter what I had suggested and she was very angry.
i am so sad and feel every day is such a strain living with someone who says almost nothing to me. I have thought of leaving so she can have my house and I go somewhere else. She has a strict routine of washing, eating and now its all meditation and yoga on her own. She does very little domestic work and hates any suggestion that she should do more. It took two years to get her to pay something to me regularly for bills and food - she was furious, angry and did not see why she should pay anything.
I do know of one or two people who are in the same position but they are not friends of mine but I would like to speak to others who have this existence, managing with an adult child who is not likely to live independently and who does not speak (she is verbal and does speak to others just almost never me and her father or younger brother - a lodger would say more to us).
I feel as if no one is in my position and as she has not had a diagnosis I cannot get any support. I worry about my own life and health. I have looked into the diagnosis tests and for years I have been convinced she is autistic and the anorexia and depression happens when she cannot manage life, they are her sort of melt downs and her treatment for anorexia provides a routine of eating and meal plans which she feels secure with as she likes routine.
Its very sad to watch her life getting smaller and smaller and mine as well. I do want to go somewhere and just have a good cry about this and also maybe get some help in what to do to help her and us.
thanks
