Hi,
I have just joined this forum as I am a parent of an adult of 20 who received an autism diagnosis last year. I encouraged my son to seek a diagnosis because he has really struggled since leaving school to find his way. He has dropped out of two college courses, he doesn’t seem to be able to apply himself, and he has had two part time jobs which he has left after a few months because he found them too boring and difficult. I have tried to encourage him to find work but he is not interested. I know it sounds like a cliche but he spends most of his time in his room playing computer games. He stays up late and sleeps until around 1 if I don’t ask him to get up. We end up having a lot of arguments, he is very oppositional and demand avoidant. If I ask him to help with housework it usually ends in an argument and he is increasingly verbally abusive towards me, swearing and calling me a b**ch. he sees me as being overly critical of him, which I know has been a problem in the past, I didn’t know much about autism or even that he had the condition - since finding out , I have tried to learn and change how I deal with him but I do still get frustrated because his behaviour is very challenging. I feel that he sometimes uses his diagnosis is a licence to avoid doing anything he doesn’t want to do. Last night he had a melt down after I asked him to wash his dishes, we had an escalating row which ended in me asking him to leave the house because of his abusive language and threatening behaviour. I am now regretting how I handled this situation but he was being very abusive towards me and I was at my wits end. He is now staying with a friend. Today I contacted him by text to say he could come home but I would like him to follow basic ground rules of helping more around the house and going to bed and getting up at a reasonable time. This resulted in another barrage of abuse from him, basically saying I don’t understand anything about his condition and am a terrible parent who has caused all of his problems. It’s really upsetting because I feel I’ve tried to help him but everything I do is interpreted as me being controlling or meddling.
Anyway, I wanted to reach out on this forum to see if there are any parents of adults with autism with similar experiences and how have you managed your situation. Thanks for any advice.
