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help with changing from mainstream school to a school more able to help our son

obsmummy

Hello

I am new to this forum, I am Emma, mummy to a 5yr old little man who has an autistic spectrum disorder. He is currently in mainstream with 25hrs 1 to 1 support, a band 5 SEN statement and even 1 to 1 SMSA support.

However in the year he has been at school, there is no real evidence of any progress. Yes his speech has improved, and his concentration has improved yet there are so many other areas that have not improved. There is also the problems with other children and parent's attitudes towards him. Today one other boy in his class said whilst in the cloakroom "if something had happened to our son when he was born then he wouldn't be horrible" I walked away saying he wasn't horrible. It upset me loads, as the more I think about it the more I am thinking he said if he'd died when he was born. We lost a baby at 38wks of pregnancy almost 3yrs ago when our other little man was almost 3yrs old. I am not sure he said that but he said something nasty.

I mean if a 5yr old can come out with that it has to have come from the parents.

 

We are thinking however that mainstream is not the best place for him and wondered how we should go about changing schools. Any advice would be greatfully received.

  • Hi Emma,

     

    Firstly welcome to the forum .

    I have 2 spectrum children aged 7 and 9, my son is in a unit in a mainstream school, and my daughter is in mainstream.

    My son got a statment at the age of 5 so hopefully my experience will help you somewhat.

    My son progressed very slowly in the first 2 years in mainstream and finally it was decided by the school and us that a unit in a mainstream school was more appropriate.

    However, this was only decided after many meetings with his teacher and the schools SENCO.  Are you in contact with the SENCO at your son's school or is there a school link worker you can chat to informally attached to the school?  If you are not getting anywhere then I suggest you call contact a family who can give you some support in your local area and information on how to move him. Also a call to the LEA who granted the statement may be able to help with your options.

    As for the other children and parents cruel comments - please don't take them to heart.  I am still ignored my most of the parents at my daughters school who took one look at my son and have decided I'm a terrible neglectful mother and my children are unconrollable.  I find it helps to feel sorry for them that they have no compassion and I have much more important things to deal with!

    Hang in there and please believe me it will work out in the end

    Kate

  • Hello Obsmummy

    I understand you have an enquiry regarding education.

    The following article contains a lot of helpful information about education for a child with an autism spectrum disorder:
    http://www.autism.org.uk/en-gb/living-with-autism/education.aspx

    You may want to contact our Education Rights Service where information, support and advice is provided on educational provision and entitlements. Please see the following link for further information: www.autism.org.uk/educationrights

    I know how isolating it can feel in mainstream settings and wonder if you might also be interested in finding a local support group where you'll be able to meet other families in similar situations, you can search for them in the Autism Services Directory: http://www.autism.org.uk/en-gb/directory.aspx

    You might also feel like talking this through with another parent, here's a link for the NAS parent to parent line: www.autism.org.uk/p2p

    I hope that's helpful. Good luck to you and your son, and I hope that some of our other users will also be able to offer their thoughts.

    Sandra