What about the good stuff?

Hi everyone, 

I wanted to ask about autism and superpowers and what, if anything, you've been able to do with your child to encourage them and allow them to grow? Everything's so deficit based when it comes to diagnosis and occupational therapy and even at school, and I have a few concerns now about my little boy, who's five. 

His knowledge is insane. He knows all the countries of the world by land mass, by population, in alphabetical order, forwards and backwards, same goes for the United States, regions throughout the Middle East, all the capitals of the world, etc, etc. He understands and can name all the systems of the body, and the organs, and what goes where (!). Planets are another laser-focus: he can name all the exo planets, even the ones with very long numbers, the galaxies, the stars... He knew his times tables at four and we've been told he may have hyperlexia as he's essentially made up his own sign language and was sight reading at a very young age. He wakes up every morning and spouts facts until he goes to sleep at night. Admittedly, he's missing out on conversation, which breaks my heart. 

Now, this all seems incredibly boastful but I know I'm amongst friends here ;) But my point is, what do we DO with all of this, where does it go? Who's his audience going to be? It's cute now but what about when he's a teenager and it's not so cute? He has no volume control either so he's often overheard shouting about the departments of Bolivia or whatever and invariably I find myself excusing him and downplaying it to other parents, "Oh he's autistic, that's why, and he still wets his pants", which is not fair on him, I know. This stuff should be celebrated. 

Basically, I feel a bit lost. I don't want him to become a performing monkey but at the same time I would love somebody from outside the family to just acknowledge it, do you know what I mean? 

Thanks for reading. x

  • Useful links

    So all of the software below is free or has a free version

    Programming software

    Visual studio community edition https://visualstudio.microsoft.com/vs/community/ (for pc)

    Xcode https://developer.apple.com/xcode/ (for Mac)

    GCC https://www.linuxtopia.org/online_books/an_introduction_to_gcc/? (For linux) GCC is pre installed on Lynnox computers it’s a bit complicated this guide but it will cover everything you would really ever need to know.

    Anaconda https://www.anaconda.com/download it’s mostly for learning python (programming language) but it’ll run on almost anything

    Game making software

    https://unity.com

    https://www.unrealengine.com/en-US

    Circuit design

    https://easyeda.com

    Mechanical engineering

    https://www.autodesk.com/products/fusion-360/personal

    There are variety of online shops where you can buy raspberry pis and raspberry pi kits. There are variety of different services where you can order preassembled circuit boards 3-D printed parts and laser cut parts. Best to shop around.

  • Hans Asperger used to call his patients (or perhaps I should say test subjects) little professors.

    many autistic people find fascination with one or two narrow areas naturally leads from into academia. The tendency to memorise an encyclopedic knowledge of something very specialist and technical naturally tends to lead people into fairly prestigious professions like science or law or medicine.

    of course it’s not enough just to memorise facts you’ve got to have a real understanding of what they mean and how they relate to each other. If your son is hyperlexic there’s a decent chance he’s already reading textbooks. And this is certainly to be encouraged and also to encourage him to do it in a systematic way. It can be very tempting to just skip back-and-forth and just focus on a handful of narrow areas that you’re really interested in.

    if you can encouraging him to pick up a textbook and work all the way through it systematically even doing exercises. If he’s interested in the sciences it’s really important he gets a good foundation in mathematics early on. I’m not talking about arithmetic I’m talking about the theory of maths. Algebra, logic, geometry and proofs that sort of thing.

    with his voracious appetite for knowledge he will probably be drawn to material beyond the high school level even if he doesn’t understand it all. But in the sciences beyond the high school level he’ll probably understand very little  unless he really has a strong grasp on mathematics.

    if he has an interest in physics Roger Penrose’s ‘Road to infinity’ is a really good text. It starts with relatively basic maths and teachers more maths along the way alongside the physics.

    Now if he leans  more to the humanities I can’t be as helpful but of course these areas still have their textbooks. I used to carry a leather attaché case around when I was 7/8 whenever my mother took me out and in it was usually a big hardback textbook.

    with regards to him doing things things are productive to demonstrate that he has an understanding of what is talking about. there are a lot of kits and hobby materials out there he might benefit from.

    if he has his own computer there are a lots of free courses on computer programming you could try. Everything from low-level programming all the way to game development. If he doesn’t have his own computer you might consider a raspberry pi. A relatively cheap mini computer designed especially for educational purposes.

    electronics is another area where even children can learn and produce interesting things. The days when you had to produce a circuit board using a soldering iron and dangerous acids at home are long gone. There are free programs he could use to design his own electrical circuit boards and  services from which you could order the circuit boards with the components already attached. Something similar applies to mechanical engineering. Many mechanical parts these days are produced by computer controls or 3-D printing. You can design the parts on the computer and then send off for them to be made to order and sent to you.

    if you’re eager to give him the opportunity to show people he can convert his understanding and knowledge into something tangible in the real world mechanical engineering electrical engineering and software engineering are actually much more accessible than you might expect.

  • If he continues to be able to memorise vast amounts of data, a career in the legal profession could be an option.  The ability to memorise case law and legislation would be invaluable.

  • Please don't tell strangers he wets his pants! He is still a person with dignity, even if he is only five.

    As for where this goes, I wish I knew. I was not as fact focused as your son, but I was a gifted child, but because of childhood bullying, loneliness and basically being told too often that I was boring and should shut up, I hit burnout at university and still can't work full-time.

    I know some autistics are able to use their love of their special interest to build a career in that interest. Maybe try to encourage this as he grows? Academia, science journalism, even travel writer? Just please don't undermine him or let anyone else undermine him!

  • I think that it’s right to focus on your son’s strengths, and hopefully as he grows older he can develop these abilities in an academic setting. Both my sons are autistic and one of them was very gifted academically and went to Oxford Uni. There are quite a few autistic students (diagnosed and undiagnosed) at places like Oxford and Cambridge for obvious reasons. 
    However it doesn’t just have to be about turning autistic strengths into academic success - anything an autistic person loves that can flourish into some kind of a career is a great asset, especially as a lot of autistic people struggle when it comes to careers. Eg someone might love animals and could get a job at an animal rescue centre. It’s just about encouraging their natural strengths and interests so that they can enjoy them and even one day find work in a subject they love. There’s so much potential there. Of course so many challenges too, but we all have lots of experience on here regarding that. Both my children are adults now and the overriding thing is that I just want them to be happy, I don’t care at all about external success or what people think. It’s not easy to navigate society as an autistic person, so for me the focus has always been what will support their happiness and well being. I’m autistic myself so I have a good understanding of my children’s challenges, although we are all different of course. For me the priority is them enjoying life, and that can often be far from easy for autistic people when it comes to school and finding work. Good luck :)