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Struggling with behaviour

NAS85789

I was writing for some advice about my 5 year old son. He is awaiting assessment for asd and I also wonder if he has adhd. He masks usually at school.  Recently his behaviour has escalated due to school holidays and lots going on. As he gets older his behaviour is getting worse. He screams from morning to evening. I have tried to keep consistency, sensory time through crunchy snacks, heavy bags, running.  However recently he has started swearing a lot in public And today we went to soft play and he started screaming the f word. I decided we had to leave but he attacked me in the street, kicking and pulling my hair. Really struggling to deal with his behaviour and wondering if anyone has any advice? Do I avoid public places for now? Regarding his swearing it is like a tic and not sure know to deal with this. He has been doing it since he was 4 but it is getting a lot worse.  He has a younger brother and it’s starting to affect his behaviour.

  • in reply to Peter

    Yes you are right! I can’t just avoid every social situation. Thanks for your reply

  • in reply to Iain

    Thanks for these resources will check them out 

  • in reply to Lau

    Thanks for replying. They happen at home and when stressed. Gets a lot worse with stress and he starts screaming it. 

    Yeh we have been to this soft play a lot and I went in the morning as it is quiet. Just so much change i think for him

  • Hello there, sorry you are suffering with this behaviour from your son.

    I did some research on books that can give you more help than I can offer as I have limited experience with ADHD (it sounds like this is the case here).

    I would start with speaking to your GP to try to get an assessment so you can call on support services to help over time, and they should be able to give a more specific evaluation of what is going on with him so you can target your responses.

    The books I was talking about are:

    ADHD and Social Skills - A Step-by-Step Guide for Teachers and Parents - Esta M. Rapoport (2009)
    e-ISBN 9781607092827

    Everything You Wanted to Know About ADHD (...But Forgot You Wanted to Ask) - Neuroscience Education Institute (2008)
    ISBN 1422500330

    100 Questions & Answers About Your Child's ADHD - From Preschool to College,2nd Ed - Ruth D. Nass, Fern Leventhal (2010)
    ISBN 9780763781798

    Identifying, Assessing, and Treating ADHD at School (US version) - Stephen E. Brock, Shane R. Jimerson, Robin L. Hansen (auth.) (2009)
    e-ISBN 9781441905017

    Rethinking ADHD - Integrated Approaches to Helping Children at Home and at School - Vicki Anderson, Tim Godber (2003)
    ISBN 1865088161

    Taking Charge of ADHD, Revised Edition - The Complete, Authoritative Guide for Parents - Russell A. Barkley PhD ABPP ABCNT (2000)
    ISBN 1572305606

    The ADD & ADHD Answer Book - Professional Answers to 275 of the Top Questions Parents Ask - Susan Ashley (2005)
    ISBN 9781402219764

    The Survival Guide for Kids with ADD or ADHD - John F. Taylor Ph.D. (2011)
    e-ISBN: 9781575428895

    Understanding and Supporting Children with ADHD_ Strategies for Teachers, Parents and Other Professionals - Lesley A Hughes, Paul W Cooper (2007)
    ISBN-9781412918619

    I hope something in there can be of help.

  • Do these tics happen at home too? Do they only happen in stressful environments? 

    Last year of Primary schools my son was going through severe amounts of stress & had severe anxiety. He developed eye/face movements that he wasn’t aware were happening.

    I started recording him secretly as I didn’t want him to be self conscious. I went to the doctors with the video evidence who requested to see him in person.

    The doctor did an examination and said going from the information we provided, the videos and the tics being new that it looked like stress induced tics.

    Maybe he’s swearing as soft plays a stressful environment for him? 

    My child also says lots of swear words aswell as other inappropriate language. Even after all these years he’s 13 now I still don’t have the answer to this. 

  • Tic disorders are more common among people with autism and ADHD and if it is a tick disorder there’s really nothing he can do about it and very little you can do about it. You should consult a doctor about it. But in all probability if it is a tick disorder The people around him will just have to adapt to it, even if that means swearing in playgroups.

    you can’t keep him locked indoors his entire childhood because of a medical condition that might upset other people in the public around him. It is ultimately for them to adapt and you as his parents are going to have to be one of the champions of telling them that they need to adapt.