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Autistic 4 Year Old Son - Not sleeping / Eating etc

Lauren

Hi, 

I have a 4 year old son who has recently been referred on for a diagnosis after his recent initial nurse assessment for Autism as he is showing many traits etc.My son finds simple tasks like putting on shoes or jacket and even getting himself dressed without struggling. He starts P1 in August & I am very worried he won't cope very well or find things very hard.

He also currently isnt sleeping at all he will fall asleep but wont stay asleep without someone beside him and he keeps jurking which is stopping him from sleeping a full night he is very restless. 

He is very picky on what foods he eats it very bland / beige food and sticks with very safe foods.

Just looking for any help or advice on how to work with my son and anyone who's currently going through the same thing if they have any tips.

Thanks In Advance :) 

Parents

  • Okay well first of all don't panic, he is 4, lots of kids that age struggle to dress themselves because parents and carers have done it for them for so long that making that transition to a new level of independance can be slow, I don't know a single child autistic or not that didn't at least take forever to get their coat and shoes on, realistically you might be having to help do that while he is still learning to do it for himself for another year yet, and that is not uncommon. Same with the picky eating, in fact on it's own I'd say it is a useless indicator of autism because my non autistic sibling had a more restricted diet (if it wasn't chicken, pasta, or pizza he'd skip meals) than I did right up until he left home and I as an autistic person eat everything as long as it doesn't have certain allergens. Also I have been to the parenting groups with mine at that age, I don't think a single kid didn't get stuck in a picky eating phase, my son is also autistic and the trick was getting over the anxiety by going with foods loosely similar to the faves in texture and colour and then slowly expanding outwards until he had a rainbow of colours and texture on his plate. Some sensory stuff with food has to be tested long term because sometimes it's stuff that can be acclimated to rather than actually set in stone. My son never wanted to chew anything until he discovered his new fave veggie cheese burgers at age 7.
    So many parents now are put under pressure to have mini adults by age 3 and that is not reality, it never was reality not even with the neurotypical kids, it's the competitive toxic mumsnet BS that makes perents think any delay is a sign of something catastrophically wrong and that you as a parent need to panic and stress yourself into an early grave when you really don't. Seeking to explain it away with autism is not going to fix it and assuming all delay is down to autism is abelist -not your fault, society will drum that misinformation into you, but you need to let that medicalised and problematic notion go, there is nothing "wrong" with an autistic child just because the modern world is hectic and less accessible to them and their needs, and it is not a failure on your your part as a parent to have an autistic child (that is if the assessment doesn't find something else entirely to attribute the traits your son has to).

    Now onto the sleep thing, he must be sleeping sometime or rather he must sleep some time otherwise he'd be very unwell indeed, you obvs can't stay with him all night so have you tried a big soft toy that he can choose (pick out for himself) and get attached to that can serve the role as that comforting "presence" at night instead of you?

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