Help/Advice on Comms with 4 year old Non-Verbal Autistic Child

Hi

New to this and just looking for some advice/help on how to help a 4 year old who is non-verbal and has alot of meltdowns frequently throughout the day to communicate. 

By way of background, the child did used to communicate better and say the odd words and had better focus on playing games etc then but as they’ve gotten older, have gotten worse and almost at zero communication. Feels like dealing with an 1 year old. Other than there is physical communication such as passing a bottle for a drink etc. We’ve been told they may have ADHD and there seems to be a huge oral need to bite/chew everything.

The meltdowns are catastrophic with a lot of self hitting such as bashing their own head with their hands or on the floor, or wanting to bite others, loud screaming and brought on randomly. No sensory toys seem them to calm them down whatsoever.

Weve tried communication cards which have done nothing except become a chew toy, audio learning books, sensory books/toys, sensory tent which they don’t want to go into. Nothing seems to help and the child doesn’t focus on any of it and we understand the meltdowns may be coming from sensory overload so desperately want them to be able to express themselves. It breaks our hearts on a daily basis and causes a lot of stress for the entire household and the child’s siblings. 

Has anyone been through the same struggles and has any tips on how to help them communicate? Will literally try/buy anything to help! Appreciate every child is different and has their own needs. But hopeful for some help anyway. 

Thanks so much :) 

Parents
  • Hello 

    I would try vocalising the emotions and talking about the issue. The frustration is often not being able to find the language and feeling understood helps. I read a helpful book that suggested naming the emotions and rather than just glossing over them or trying to change the subject instead acknowledging them and talking about them and the situation and being calm but allowing them to feel what they feel in order to soothe. The idea is in doing this you teach both the language to express and the self-talk to help the child learn to calm themselves. 
    My husband at first thought I was mad for “making a deal” out of whatever it was but now credits this for the happiness of our little one. 
    Other things that can help are holding and stroking their hand lightly while doing this. 
    I would also encourage going to a speech and language therapist and I would try to learn some baby sign. You could start with Ms Rachel (song for littles) on YouTube to see if your little one responds to sign and if they do you can do a course. 
    Sorry if any of this is patronising / has already been done! 

Reply
  • Hello 

    I would try vocalising the emotions and talking about the issue. The frustration is often not being able to find the language and feeling understood helps. I read a helpful book that suggested naming the emotions and rather than just glossing over them or trying to change the subject instead acknowledging them and talking about them and the situation and being calm but allowing them to feel what they feel in order to soothe. The idea is in doing this you teach both the language to express and the self-talk to help the child learn to calm themselves. 
    My husband at first thought I was mad for “making a deal” out of whatever it was but now credits this for the happiness of our little one. 
    Other things that can help are holding and stroking their hand lightly while doing this. 
    I would also encourage going to a speech and language therapist and I would try to learn some baby sign. You could start with Ms Rachel (song for littles) on YouTube to see if your little one responds to sign and if they do you can do a course. 
    Sorry if any of this is patronising / has already been done! 

Children
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