School cancelled trip due to son's 'behaviour'

Hi everyone. I haven't posted here before, but I visit frequently!
Could really use some thoughts/advice please.
My son is 10, diagnosed autism, ADHD, learning difficulties. In mainstream primary with EHCP.
At the end of this month, my son's year-group is going away for a 4-day trip and we have been busy planning, looking at what he needs to take and getting excited about the activities offered. School have also used this trip as a carrot throughout last term to encourage 'good behaviour' in my son as he can become dysregulated and aggressive quickly, although is learning to manage his emotions well.
Last week my son, and a couple of friends, made a silly decision, out of school, (went somewhere they shouldn't) which, had they been caught, would have probably resulted in a telling off by the police and that would have been an end to it. 
Apparently, one of the other parents informed the school and I was summoned to a meeting with the head this morning.  Due to this incident and his bad behaviour all year, they have said he can no longer attend the school trip and will refund my money, but not my deposit (talk about rubbing salt into open wounds).
I'm absolutely devastated for him.  He has been looking forward to this trip so much.
I'm so confused though.  I met with his teacher for his EHCP review just 4-weeks ago and he delighted in telling me how pleased he was with the effort and work he had been putting in - keeping away from certain children who lead him on and doing his very best to make good choices. 
Nothing I said at the meeting would sway them - it was their final decision and had come to it earlier this week, before even speaking to me.  They say it's a safeguarding issue and they can't be sure my son and 60 other kids will be safe if he attends the trip. 
Is this disability discrimination?
Many thanks
Parents
  • I agree with the other responses about how to approach the school about the trip, but there is something to be said for sitting down with your son to talk about actions and consequences.

    The brains centre which deals with this automatically does not fully develop until your 20's so you need to be able to try to make your son think through this conciously for now.

    If you can do it in a way that is more of a review of the situation, learn the lessons and think about how to do it in future then that would be the most effective way. Avoid blame and emotion as he will probably find this difficult to process and may just block it out.

    Done like a lesson it will hopefully have some impact, but being of that age I suspect it will be forgotten more often than not, but on the few occasions when he does think, it may just save his bacon.

    Good luck with the school and I hope he gets to go on the trip in the end.

Reply
  • I agree with the other responses about how to approach the school about the trip, but there is something to be said for sitting down with your son to talk about actions and consequences.

    The brains centre which deals with this automatically does not fully develop until your 20's so you need to be able to try to make your son think through this conciously for now.

    If you can do it in a way that is more of a review of the situation, learn the lessons and think about how to do it in future then that would be the most effective way. Avoid blame and emotion as he will probably find this difficult to process and may just block it out.

    Done like a lesson it will hopefully have some impact, but being of that age I suspect it will be forgotten more often than not, but on the few occasions when he does think, it may just save his bacon.

    Good luck with the school and I hope he gets to go on the trip in the end.

Children
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