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2 year old boy with no communication

NAS87227

Hi Everyone, my partner and I have a 3 children, a girl aged 9 and two boys aged 3 and (almost) 2. The 2 year old has started displaying signs of being autistic so I'm reaching out her in the hope that somebody has shared our experience and can provide some insight, advice and, dare I say, hope that things will get easier.

The background is, he was born on time and naturally, although he was delivered using forceps. Everything seemed well and he appeared to be developing as he should. There was a slight challenge trying to wean him from milk onto baby food. He refused to eat any of the typical jars of food and we had a really hard time getting him to eat any pureed food. He did eat sometimes though, and once we introduced solid food he ate reasonably well so we didn't think much of it.

Around 5 or 6 months ago however we started to suspect something wasn't quite right. He wasn't responding to his name, or any noise, at all. We could walk up behind him and clap our hands or shout his name and he wouldn't react. We found he wasn't really looking at us when we were changing him or playing with him, he also wasn't engaging with us or our other children in a way that we would expect of a child his age. He was also walking on his tiptoes a lot (which apparently can be normal until aged 3) waving his arms and squealing when excited and chewing everything.....and I mean everything; carpets, his cot, his clothes, toys, blankets, everything. Though at this stage he was still getting teeth through so we figured it was likely teething.

Moving forward to today:

  • he still doesn't respond to his name or loud noises.
  • While he doesn't avoid eye contact entirely it is very difficult to achieve it and it doesn't last long.
  • He still waves his arms and squeals when excited and walks on tiptoes regularly.
  • Although he chews less, he still puts lots of things in his mouth which he shouldn't, he particularly likes wooden toys and books.
  • He is eating well but throws an awful lot of food on the floor, he will pick up a piece of toast for example, take a bite then throw it on the floor before picking up another bit and repeating.
  • He climbs on everything and has zero sense of danger.
  • He won't engage in any play with us, preferring to play with toys on his own

As most parents would do, I have read a lot of information lately and fear that the lack of communication especially means he may be diagnosed as "severe". From what I've read though, most severe children have much more challenging behaviours and developmental issues than what our little boy is displaying.

While his behaviour is certainly challenging and is extremely upsetting for his mum, i feel it is "mild" enough to provide hope that he may develop some communication in the future.

Does anybody share our experience and recognise the behaviours and could provide an insight into their journey?

Apologies if any of the terminology or phrasing I have used is upsetting to anyone, this community is new to me and I am still trying to learn.

Thanks for reading

Parents
  • NAS87227 said:
    The background is, he was born on time and naturally, although he was delivered using forceps. Everything seemed well and he appeared to be developing as he should. There was a slight challenge trying to wean him from milk onto baby food. He refused to eat any of the typical jars of food and we had a really hard time getting him to eat any pureed food. He did eat sometimes though, and once we introduced solid food he ate reasonably well so we didn't think much of it.

    First of all I'd like to put your mind at ease nothing you did either during the pregnancy or events at birth will have "caused" autism, it is genetic, and it is a lottery because the genes that make it appear are not all the same genes in every person. Autistic parents can have neurotypical children just like neurotypical parents can have autistic children. Though if you do look around at your sons various blood relatives you may find traits in other people, some of which may be autistic and masking, others may simply have  few traits but sans diagnosable autism.
    The swap over from milk to first solids might have been the first sensory issue, but a lot of babies go through that "ew I don't like it" phase so it is dificult to tell from that on its own.
    Everything in that bullet list except the last item I have seen in neurotypical children of my friends so I don't think you need worry about those, they sound like typical toddler behaviour.
    "He won't engage in any play with us, preferring to play with toys on his own." Is likely the key autistic criteria here.
    Also something really sticks out that I think warrants its own separate investigation and that is not responding to sound, sometimes autistic people are under sensitive but it is more usual for us to be over sensitive. Has you son already been checked to make sure there is nothing "mechanically" wrong with his hearing?

    As to whether it is "mild/severe" (what kind of support needs he will have) tbh you may not get an insight into the full extent until he has to interact with his peers at nursery or preschool, especially in verbal terms, mine (also autistic) didn't start to talk until he was nearly 5 and once he started we couldn't shut him back up lol. So it might click into place with time or it may not.

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  • NAS87227 said:
    The background is, he was born on time and naturally, although he was delivered using forceps. Everything seemed well and he appeared to be developing as he should. There was a slight challenge trying to wean him from milk onto baby food. He refused to eat any of the typical jars of food and we had a really hard time getting him to eat any pureed food. He did eat sometimes though, and once we introduced solid food he ate reasonably well so we didn't think much of it.

    First of all I'd like to put your mind at ease nothing you did either during the pregnancy or events at birth will have "caused" autism, it is genetic, and it is a lottery because the genes that make it appear are not all the same genes in every person. Autistic parents can have neurotypical children just like neurotypical parents can have autistic children. Though if you do look around at your sons various blood relatives you may find traits in other people, some of which may be autistic and masking, others may simply have  few traits but sans diagnosable autism.
    The swap over from milk to first solids might have been the first sensory issue, but a lot of babies go through that "ew I don't like it" phase so it is dificult to tell from that on its own.
    Everything in that bullet list except the last item I have seen in neurotypical children of my friends so I don't think you need worry about those, they sound like typical toddler behaviour.
    "He won't engage in any play with us, preferring to play with toys on his own." Is likely the key autistic criteria here.
    Also something really sticks out that I think warrants its own separate investigation and that is not responding to sound, sometimes autistic people are under sensitive but it is more usual for us to be over sensitive. Has you son already been checked to make sure there is nothing "mechanically" wrong with his hearing?

    As to whether it is "mild/severe" (what kind of support needs he will have) tbh you may not get an insight into the full extent until he has to interact with his peers at nursery or preschool, especially in verbal terms, mine (also autistic) didn't start to talk until he was nearly 5 and once he started we couldn't shut him back up lol. So it might click into place with time or it may not.

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