Daughter unable to return to school after September with no taxi

When you say the bus do you mean a school bus or a public bus?

Can she use a bus by herself in other contexts? If so then it seems absurd to suggest she could not do it for this purpose. If she has never tried to use a bus by herself then doing that on a weekend or school holiday would seem like a useful thing to try. Surely there is nothing stop you from trying this? If you mean the school bus then is the safeguarding to protect her or other pupils, and why?

It seems a mad situation!

You might be able to shorten the time it takes to get her driving licence if she could have some lessons on private land so she can learn everything about the technical part of driving. Also she has presumably already memorised the highway code and done the practice theory test online? Then all it would take would be learning to drive in traffic. As long as she doesn't end up having meltdowns if driving got stressful.

I am talking about a public bus and she used to get the bus all the time but only a couple of times to near the school when she's been out on weekends. The only thing is that it's 1 hour long journey and she will have to catch the 8am bus which will be a challenge for her. 

When we asked the school last time about catching the bus they said she can't due to safeguarding reasons. The bus stop she would have to get off at is on a busy dual carriageway and with her past it would not be safe. Also what would happen if for some reason she was dysregulated or had a meltdown on the bus or when she got off the bus? 

Same with driving, if she was allowed to drive to school, what would happen if she got upset during the day and isn't regulated to drive herself home, it would be a 20 minute ish drive. Would I have to collect her and then take her to school the next morning? It's a tricky situation. 

Hi, it’s hard to know what is safer as it will depend on individual but like you say driving is also not without risks and requires you to be focused and it can be hard to learn. Buses for sure are less comfortable and less flexible plus sensory overload but at least once you are on it you don’t have to drive it or do anything- so then it’s just a matter of getting on and off it (and coping while on it). Could you or someone else maybe go on the bus with her a few times to see how it goes? Does anyone else from her school go the same route?It would probably also be a huge confidence boost if she could take the bus. I actually also almost never took the bus while at school- my mum wasn’t keen - she thought i probably wouldn’t make it most mornings as it was super early- around 6:30 and I guess she was just generally worried. But I was quite ashamed that I didn’t take the bus. Only later whenever I visited my dad he made me take public transport (1 bus, 1 train and 1 bus) - i was quite terrified at first and my mum wasn’t happy but my dad went with me for first time and it did feel good to know that I can get around on my own! I now mainly get around by bike or on foot as I hate public transport and cars (it’s a bit better if i drive but i am terrified of that too and don’t have a car anyways) (i get motion sick too). 

This is my exactly my point I've asked them. The last time I spoke to them about it they said she can't get the bus because the stop she'd have to get off at is on a busy dual carriageway and in the past she has not been safe around these. Also due to self harm and suicidal ideation during school hours. 

But she is going to learn to drive a car, she has a lesson booked. She is more than capable to do this which is my argument. Why can't she get the bus if she is able and allowed to drive a car/a killing machine like you said. 

She's come a long way with communication and coping with meltdowns safely to a point. They are still trying to teach her better ways of course but it takes time. I think she may also want to work at that school because she's amazing there and staff said she'd make a good teacher/support worker.

But that's circular! If crossing the road is the reason she's not allowed to get the bus. Unless there is another reason. But if she is not their responsibility until she is on school grounds, then how come they get to dictate what she is "allowed" to do outside of their jurisdiction? This sounds all kinds of wrong to me!

Also if she is nearly old enough to drive then surely she is old enough to be able to cross a road and use a bus!! And if she is not safe doing those things then really you ought to consider if she will ever be safe to pilot a potential killing machine ie a car. It's probably not all that long before she can have a driverless car... but that is a whole other can of worms. But they or someone ought to be teaching her some ways to cope with meltdowns safely by now.

But that's circular! If crossing the road is the reason she's not allowed to get the bus. Unless there is another reason. But if she is not their responsibility until she is on school grounds, then how come they get to dictate what she is "allowed" to do outside of their jurisdiction? This sounds all kinds of wrong to me!

Also if she is nearly old enough to drive then surely she is old enough to be able to cross a road and use a bus!! And if she is not safe doing those things then really you ought to consider if she will ever be safe to pilot a potential killing machine ie a car. It's probably not all that long before she can have a driverless car... but that is a whole other can of worms. But they or someone ought to be teaching her some ways to cope with meltdowns safely by now.

This is my exactly my point I've asked them. The last time I spoke to them about it they said she can't get the bus because the stop she'd have to get off at is on a busy dual carriageway and in the past she has not been safe around these. Also due to self harm and suicidal ideation during school hours. 

But she is going to learn to drive a car, she has a lesson booked. She is more than capable to do this which is my argument. Why can't she get the bus if she is able and allowed to drive a car/a killing machine like you said. 

She's come a long way with communication and coping with meltdowns safely to a point. They are still trying to teach her better ways of course but it takes time. I think she may also want to work at that school because she's amazing there and staff said she'd make a good teacher/support worker.