Voices in head?

What I mean to convey is, it's not just me. But I do know others prefer to hear "my story" in order to connect.

This is pretty typical for most autistics I speak with who are "Hyperphants" - have an 'over-active' imagination. This is a way of processing for many of us with wild imaginations. :) 

I had an imaginary Great-Uncle, named Charlie, based on a Kids' Show around that time. Circa 1985.

Hi Martin, 

Thanks for your response. Imaginary friends seem quite popular and I have no problems with her having them or indeed using them to help her with her regulations. Well done to your child and their education! A credit to you I'm sure! 

My elder child had 2 imaginary friends, 'Dreamer' and 'Deeda' and an 'older sister' (who had red hair). It may be just a phase and nothing serious. My child was eventually diagnosed with ADHD, but got through education and gained a 1st class degree.

Thank you I'm glad you find talking things out loud a good way to process 

Thank you I will see if I can get a professional to give me some info on the subject

My son is in his 20's, dyslexic and loves 'talking by himself'. He's done it since he was little and since I had 2 imaginary friends and process all my thoughts out loud, enjoying my conversations with myself (mostly when no one is around), I didn't think much of it. 

Working through a thing out loud is key for me (nearly 50 now) as I think and process in images and always have music playing in my head. Most Non-Autistics have an internal dialogue/monologue and part of what makes Autistics unique is our difficulty with language/vocabulary (we analyse with the brain different). So, for me, not being able to internally imagine a sentence clearly or make sense of an argument in my imagination beyond the visual, it's easier for me to hear it out loud. This goes with being told by another in High School "did you not 'hear that' (meaning internally) before you said it?" and no - I usually didn't. 

I even talk myself out loud through a motion or a movement - having ballet as a child or yoga as an adult with instructors who articulate exact muscle movements has always been useful. I've incorporated this self-teaching technique into solo practice. 

As an adult, I ended up working in sound, so I've put my ears to use. But I'll speak out loud as I type otherwise I might type a sentence incorrect or structure it as if it were a direct translation of French or Spanish. 

It's so hard for children who fit in with society. And so much harder when we don't. But it's even more of a relief when the adults allow us as children to learn at our pace. I was always such a mess when rushed and yet had so much potential if I would've been just given time to really invest in the one thing fully, absorbing and completing then moving on. Resolve and grounded fundamentals can bring out the best in us. 

I talk to myself all the time. Mostly impressions. 

Hi ellise,

Thank you for your reply.

You are right in that she may use the imaginary to help cope with her dysregulations. I hope that we can further understand in the long run, I am happy that she has the confidence to share with whomever she's talking to.

Thanks number again for your response. I appreciate your honest and willingness to share your story.  Lots to think about in terms of what presents to us and thinking about how a further diagnosis may be given later in life

I used to do this as a child. I was always talking to myself and invented friends to talk to because I felt I couldn't talk to anybody else and not many other children were interested in being friends, so I decided to make my own.

I was almost diagnosed with schizophrenia in 2020 but I've now found out I'm autistic so it could be that or become that later in her life but it seems unlikely to be that now given her age.

Might be an idea to consult a professional to see what's going on. Good luck.

I had an imaginary friend as a child that I would talk to. I read that autistic children who have imaginary friends can grow up to be more sociable as they use it as a form of ‘practice’ or to make sense of others’ behaviour. I think it would depend if the voices in her head are just a part of her imagination or whether they are completely different personalities or voices that are controlling in any way. She could just be using it as a way of covering up unusual behaviour (eg. After a meltdown, saying - ‘I was told to throw something’ is easier than trying to understand and explain the autistic overwhelm, which is pretty impossible for a child). Her saying ‘mum hates us’ could just be a way of her trying to make sense of your concern over her behaviour - she may know something is not normal but doesn’t understand the behaviour herself. Having an imaginary friend to confide in could help her to feel less isolated by it.

I still have constant dialogue as though I’m either talking to myself or to someone else in the room about what I’m doing or experiencing (but only out loud when I’m on my own). I don’t feel as though these are separate from me though, a sort of process of making sense of things.

I think you need to be careful not to conflate four separate issues that I perceive here;

1. PDA ? SCHIZ ? = All I can do is tell you what my PDA looks like.

2.Ability to switch instanly. = This is me.

3. Two personalities. = This is not me.

4. Talking to yourself or just out loud = This is me.

I can 'slip like a switch' too - but can control it - I can display wholly different facades, quite convincingly, at the flip of a switch.  I have learned that this scares people.  I don't know the rules about "how far I can play up with you when we are 'friends'."  Malice is rare in me.  I am very rarely prone to anger - but can display it very convincingly if it is needed.  I do seething better !!

My PDA is really unpleasant.  The defining factors for me is that it can affects ANYTHING, big or small, something that I really want to do or normally really enjoy doing, things that I'm really good at doing and things that I'm bad at doing,  or things I really NEED to do it - that triggers it.

This makes me a little dangerously unpredicable - obviously !!  To hide this problem, I enjoyed 50 years of finding ways to explain away my reoccuring PDA by a variety of means - whatever was easiest or the next-best-thing to actually doing the thing.  It's a frigging nightmare.  Since identifying the PDA, I have been making slow by notable progress in managing myself more appropriately.

In terms of the talking to yourself, it is probably my most benign characteristic.  Irritating for people who need to be around me when I work or think....but I have crafted my life to make that a bonus !

Compared to my own experience, the only difference I can see is the "2 personalities."  Are there only two?

I hope this is a helpful addendum to my earlier comment.  Please forgive me if I overstep....I am known to often......I'm autistic don't you know !!

All the best.

You make a good point Caelus....and I would extend (loosely)  that the messy mix to untangle extends further too when you can feel as I do quite often as;

AUD +/- PDA +/- ADHD +/- BPD +/- SCHIZ +/- MPD +/- ETC

It's all rather too enigmatic for my tastes.

A cake is a cake.  What's your flavour ?

Be happy.

Hi bees,

Thanks for your response. She is very good at imaginative play and will often talk to 'someone' when regulated as she does when coming out of dysregulation.

Like you say she is 6 and I think this is why it's so hard to help at the moment other than to let her know we're here for her. She is emotionally younger than 6 so it is difficult to talk through things and I am hoping as she gets older she will be able to communicate better.

She does get the labels 'dramatic' and 'manipulative' not from myself but by others that don't understand her anxieties or panic attacks so I am always trying to explain to others.

Like you say, as per the figure In your village..some people need to understand people and their differences and the sooner they do the better! 

Caelus has a point about schizophrenia, but also be prepared that it's not that, she is 6 after all and so far what I've read could also just be attributed to an imaginary friend, and if she's quite lonely she is more likely to have an imaginary friend, and the behaviour may look like different personalities especially if she just has a sensitive trigger into adverse reactions to things. As Caelus said they are very easy to confuse at a glance but the underlying causes are very different, it would be very damaging if she is autistic and gets her reactions to things attributed or dismissed as "manipulation" or "being dramatic".

I used to talk to one of my toys when I was a kid, and it was just that the imaginary friend inhabited the toy (made it easier to hug the imaginary friend), but from the outside with my language issues I think at lot of people could have and did genuinely thought I was delusional, and a more religious figure in the village even said I was possessed by satan and my parents should burn my toys... makes you wonder who's really got their heads screwed on.

Thank you for your response.

We have contemplated the idea of schizophrenia, however I am trying to gather as much info as I can on whether this is a PDA specific trait or indeed schizophrenia.

Her daily battles mean that she will flip like a switch instantly and does seem as though she has 2 personalities. This is what is said to be know of PDA though, the jekyll and Hyde as they put it. 

What does confuse me is the talking to another, but as another member has responded they too talk to the 'imaginary' so I am keen to look further into this 

Thank you number for your response and sharing your experience.

It's comforting to hear of others that do this whom I can see my daughter is not alone in her ways of dealing with things. She too does mask which ultimately leads to burnouts. 

I thank you for your kind words, and I am glad that you are able to share your wisdom and show that despite challenges you are able to fulfil the things you need in life. I wish the same for my daughter. 

Best wishes 

sorry but you need to question whether the autism diagnosis was correct on this and whether she has schizoprhenia instead.

hearing voices is schizophrenia.... its understandable why she was diagnosed with autism at first because they are both very similar, but when its autism like symptoms added with hallucinations or delusions then its schizophrenia. once autism was considered on the schizophrenia spectrum before they seperated it and made it its own thing, just to give you a idea of how easy it is to mix the 2 

Good morning 72680, I am Number.

I talk to myself a great deal.  I talk in different accents.  I often talk to "imaginary" people - although I don't actually think they are present in any sense of the word.  I argue with myself and "imaginary" people when I am working through issues and thoughts in my head.  I have a definite PDA profile.

I am in my 50's and have a (superficially) pretty "normal" life - generally happy.

I have always had my serious quirks and generalised oddness.....but in my youth, I was strongly encouraged to "hide" myself and I therefore became extremely adept at doing so.  These days, this is called masking, but in the old days, it was called "pretending to be normal."

I think I am grateful for my ability to mask so effectively because it has enabled me to establish myself in the world.  I think I am resentful that I was able to mask so effectively, because I started to believe my own nonsense and, ultimately, the exhaustion and self-seeking drove me into a mega-burnout cul-de-sac for a good few years.

These days, no one ever seems to encourage kids to "be normal."  I am not saying this is a good nor a bad thing, just a statement of fact from my perspective.  You will note from my comment above that I am very conflicted on the matter.

So, I tell you the above for one reason - and I hope it will be of some comfort to you.  I am (on paper) your daughter in 4-5 decades time......and I have survived, and in some senses, thrived both despite AND because of my "challenges."

I wish you and your daughter my best wishes,

Number.