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Counsellor to help guide son (and parents)

Andy

Hi all,

I'm not quite sure if the title explains my question properly, or if I even really know what I'm after, but my 10yr old son was diagnosed recently with high-functioning Autism. There is SO much information about the place, and SO many things to think of, it's left myself and my wife just wondering where to really start.... 

We feel, given his age, it may be a good idea to get an experienced counsellor to help guide my son (and us) through this tricky path over the long-term, ie for the next 5 years or so, to help give us all a framework to pull together the many different strands that we need to think of in a coherent and planned way. 

I am new to this site (hello), but have looked through lots of the really good articles. I found an old link to exactly what I wanted (below), but it didn't work any more. Does anyone have any thoughts about how to go about finding someone as above, or indeed if that seems like a good idea. Should it be face to face, or online? How often? Would it actually help?

I'm not trying to abdicate my parental responsibility for this onto someone else, just trying to get a suitable long-term partnership going that will help my son develop to be his best self in what are going to be some challenging years ahead, guiding us as parents in the process.

I'd love to hear from anyone who may have experience of finding a long-term counsellor for their child, or evidence it can help (or not), or thoughts on how to go about it in a sensible way. We live in North Herts, but fairly close to Cambridge.

Many thanks, Andy.

 

Parents

  • Hi Andy,

    We suspected high performing ASD / Aspergers last summer.  My sons age 10 & 11 were assessed privately for ASD & ADHD in December.  My 11 year old did not meet criteria for a diagnosis although they noted ASD traits.  My 10 year old was diagnosed ADHD.  Subsequently my husband was also assessed and diagnosed both ADHD & ASD.  

    This was all quite overwhelming & although things started to make sense, I suddenly felt overwhelmed & very alone.  The school have not been super helpful & we are on the waiting list for local paediatric team for my ADHD son.

    There is so much information online, books, podcasts etc but sometimes you don't know where to start.  I have found this forum really helpful & I have also started to try support groups in person.

    I also have thought about support for my sons from various "experts" as I don't feel like I'm equipped to deal with some of the issues we have and certainly want to help my children navigate this as much as possible.  I think when you have a diagnosis, you take it more seriously.  And unfortunately with my elder son not being diagnosed, I have focused on ADHD rather than ASD/Aspergers.  However recently he has really been struggling with self-esteem, separation anxiety and perhaps low level depression.  When I say that we will look to get help externally, he is very against this.  He was even very resistant to have the assessment which took place at home & I have a feeling he didn't answer the questions as honestly as he could have.

    Yesterday we had a massive melt down with him being in a rage and it was so upsetting to not be able to help him.  I have been able to talk to someone who is involved with our youth centre and seems very knowledgeable about ADHD & ASD & I will definitely seek his help to provide support with how me & my husband behave with our children & finding better ways of communication & setting healthy boundaries.

    I would say it's great you're thinking in this way rather than buying your head in the sand.

    As our children are similar in age, can I ask what things your son or your family particularly struggle with?

    All the best Slight smile

Reply

  • Hi Andy,

    We suspected high performing ASD / Aspergers last summer.  My sons age 10 & 11 were assessed privately for ASD & ADHD in December.  My 11 year old did not meet criteria for a diagnosis although they noted ASD traits.  My 10 year old was diagnosed ADHD.  Subsequently my husband was also assessed and diagnosed both ADHD & ASD.  

    This was all quite overwhelming & although things started to make sense, I suddenly felt overwhelmed & very alone.  The school have not been super helpful & we are on the waiting list for local paediatric team for my ADHD son.

    There is so much information online, books, podcasts etc but sometimes you don't know where to start.  I have found this forum really helpful & I have also started to try support groups in person.

    I also have thought about support for my sons from various "experts" as I don't feel like I'm equipped to deal with some of the issues we have and certainly want to help my children navigate this as much as possible.  I think when you have a diagnosis, you take it more seriously.  And unfortunately with my elder son not being diagnosed, I have focused on ADHD rather than ASD/Aspergers.  However recently he has really been struggling with self-esteem, separation anxiety and perhaps low level depression.  When I say that we will look to get help externally, he is very against this.  He was even very resistant to have the assessment which took place at home & I have a feeling he didn't answer the questions as honestly as he could have.

    Yesterday we had a massive melt down with him being in a rage and it was so upsetting to not be able to help him.  I have been able to talk to someone who is involved with our youth centre and seems very knowledgeable about ADHD & ASD & I will definitely seek his help to provide support with how me & my husband behave with our children & finding better ways of communication & setting healthy boundaries.

    I would say it's great you're thinking in this way rather than buying your head in the sand.

    As our children are similar in age, can I ask what things your son or your family particularly struggle with?

    All the best Slight smile

Children
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