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Meltdown galore and she's not calming down

ParentingAutism

I'm a rubbish parent but I'm trying my best, I promise. She had 4 exams this week, 2 today, in a new place, lots of anxiety. Going to keep it short but she had a meltdown in the car on the way home with staff. They called for support. She was injuring herself. She was lying down in the car to a point, the only way they could get her home. She was extremely hot and sweaty. 

Ever since she's been home, she hasn't been able to regulate. She had ice lollies and ice packs but she isn't telling me what's wrong. She's watching Waterloo Road in her bedroom so having space but comes down every now and again and hugs me, she never hugs me. 

I don't know what to do to help. Do I just wait it out? 

Parents

  • So sorry to hear  that,  having the space to watch TV and coming down to hug you for comfort, shows that she knows that you are a caring parent and there for her

    Just keep an eye on her, she is going into a shut down and sounds like speaking too much would just exhaust her. 

    just be there for her till she has calmed down. but keep a gentle eye on her to make sure she is okay in her room and tell her that she is welcome to come and sit with you when she wants and that you love her. 

    Hope she feels better soon. 

    Is there a way that exam days can be better? such as before hand do something she likes? or afterwards take time walking instead of jumping into the car straight away?  Sometimes a gentle walk after an exam is calming for some.

    for me my happy place when out is going to a quiet cafe, but this might not be the case for her. It might be good for the future to work out plans with her as to how to prepare for such events. you both might not be able to do this during this exam period but could be worked out for exam periods of the future. 

    It is such a shame that her exams are stressful, for me when I was at school things were a lot calmer and no stress was put upon us to do well, so I went to exam then went to my friends house had chips watched neighbours and then went to my second exam, and exam time became something I liked.  

    I hope that she will be okay.

  • in reply to Astrid

    All her exams are finished now. She said they were alright and good but she had to wait until time was up to leave. She did have a teacher with her and her own room so she had support. She did start getting bored due to having to wait 40 minutes until the exam was over but they said she could leave early but by that time it was too late, she was already dysregulated and shutting down. 

    On the way back home, it's a 50 minute journey but it took them over 2 and a half hours to get her home because they had to pull over on the motorway because she had shutdown which then leads to a meltdown majority of the time. She then was hurting herself and got really got so they had to get support out to help. 

    She is now semi regulated but has a headache and feels sick and hot due to the stress and the meltdown and is absolutely exhausted. They said in the car she couldn't even hold her own body weight and couldn't stay sat up, hence lying down in the car. She still wants to go to school tomorrow which is a good sign. 

  • in reply to ParentingAutism

    I could be that the meltdown is due to having to stay in the room after she finished the exam, she might have had it in her thoughts that after the exam she could leave. 

    When I did my exams I could leave, anyone could , we were all in the hall together though, and it was a bit disturbing when people left and we were still writing.

    I understand that she was in a quiet room on her own. 

    Perhaps next year they could arrange with her and practice doing a mock exam in that room, or maybe arrange for when the exam is finished for her to be able to do something like draw on paper and pass the time. Me personally when i have that extra time in an exam I tend to re-read everything and look over my answers again and again. 

    so there might be ways to do a drill so she gets used to it. 

    In saying that you have supported her well and it is good that she will look forward to school tomorrow.

  • in reply to Astrid

    Could possibly be that. It was so hard watching her struggle yesterday. She doesn't like touch unless it's on her terms so I didn't intervene. She was punching her head at 5am this morning and then last night so forgot how to breathe a lot. She stopped breathing for around over a minute which is so scary to watch. Staff definitely helped so much yesterday and dealt with it incredibly, perfectly in fact. She is all achy today and is still exhausted and recovering but she's got good staff today so hopefully she will talk to them about it, get it off her chest.

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  • in reply to Astrid

    Could possibly be that. It was so hard watching her struggle yesterday. She doesn't like touch unless it's on her terms so I didn't intervene. She was punching her head at 5am this morning and then last night so forgot how to breathe a lot. She stopped breathing for around over a minute which is so scary to watch. Staff definitely helped so much yesterday and dealt with it incredibly, perfectly in fact. She is all achy today and is still exhausted and recovering but she's got good staff today so hopefully she will talk to them about it, get it off her chest.

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