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Meltdown galore and she's not calming down

ParentingAutism

I'm a rubbish parent but I'm trying my best, I promise. She had 4 exams this week, 2 today, in a new place, lots of anxiety. Going to keep it short but she had a meltdown in the car on the way home with staff. They called for support. She was injuring herself. She was lying down in the car to a point, the only way they could get her home. She was extremely hot and sweaty. 

Ever since she's been home, she hasn't been able to regulate. She had ice lollies and ice packs but she isn't telling me what's wrong. She's watching Waterloo Road in her bedroom so having space but comes down every now and again and hugs me, she never hugs me. 

I don't know what to do to help. Do I just wait it out? 

Parents

  • So sorry to hear  that,  having the space to watch TV and coming down to hug you for comfort, shows that she knows that you are a caring parent and there for her

    Just keep an eye on her, she is going into a shut down and sounds like speaking too much would just exhaust her. 

    just be there for her till she has calmed down. but keep a gentle eye on her to make sure she is okay in her room and tell her that she is welcome to come and sit with you when she wants and that you love her. 

    Hope she feels better soon. 

    Is there a way that exam days can be better? such as before hand do something she likes? or afterwards take time walking instead of jumping into the car straight away?  Sometimes a gentle walk after an exam is calming for some.

    for me my happy place when out is going to a quiet cafe, but this might not be the case for her. It might be good for the future to work out plans with her as to how to prepare for such events. you both might not be able to do this during this exam period but could be worked out for exam periods of the future. 

    It is such a shame that her exams are stressful, for me when I was at school things were a lot calmer and no stress was put upon us to do well, so I went to exam then went to my friends house had chips watched neighbours and then went to my second exam, and exam time became something I liked.  

    I hope that she will be okay.

  • in reply to Astrid

    All her exams are finished now. She said they were alright and good but she had to wait until time was up to leave. She did have a teacher with her and her own room so she had support. She did start getting bored due to having to wait 40 minutes until the exam was over but they said she could leave early but by that time it was too late, she was already dysregulated and shutting down. 

    On the way back home, it's a 50 minute journey but it took them over 2 and a half hours to get her home because they had to pull over on the motorway because she had shutdown which then leads to a meltdown majority of the time. She then was hurting herself and got really got so they had to get support out to help. 

    She is now semi regulated but has a headache and feels sick and hot due to the stress and the meltdown and is absolutely exhausted. They said in the car she couldn't even hold her own body weight and couldn't stay sat up, hence lying down in the car. She still wants to go to school tomorrow which is a good sign. 

  • in reply to ParentingAutism

    What an achievement fir her to get through this and credit to you and her supporters as well. Quiet time alone in her own space and in her control is obviously the best way to recover. You are a brilliant parent with a brilliant daughter.

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