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Living with an autistic older brother

NAS86741

Hi there,

I am looking for guidance and support, I am a 19 year old female with an autistic brother who is 22. My mum died 2 years ago and I have tried to support my brother and my dad as much as I can but it is very hard. I am only young, and I feel like I have a child of my own to worry about and clean up after. One of the things that really upsets and frustrates me is that he cannot clean up after himself in the bathroom. This makes it a very unpleasant space to share. I feel I can't keep myself clean as the bath is always filthy, the toilet has smeared feces and I have found worse. I can't deal with this anymore. I don't have the means to move out so I am stuck feeling disgusting all of the time. This puts a huge strain on our relationship. I feel the burdens of housework falls on me and my dad and I have no energy to enjoy my own activities. He goes to the toilet around 10-15 times a day and spends hours in there. I can't take it.

Parents

  • And is your Dad stepping up to the plate, here? Or is he not coping well with the loss of your mum?

    You are entitled to two things. 'Carer's support' for you. You might be able to self- refer, or ask your GP.

    Sounds like you need social services for your brother.

    This can't go on. Yes, there is a role for you to be part of your family's support, but you cannot shoulder this single handedly. You are barely past the age of majority and need a life of your own to.

    I would talk to your Dad and try to draw in the services you both need. Maybe you and dad need to go to the GP together, or phone social services to kick start the ball rolling for the proper supports.

    Bless you, that's a tall order at your age.

Reply

  • And is your Dad stepping up to the plate, here? Or is he not coping well with the loss of your mum?

    You are entitled to two things. 'Carer's support' for you. You might be able to self- refer, or ask your GP.

    Sounds like you need social services for your brother.

    This can't go on. Yes, there is a role for you to be part of your family's support, but you cannot shoulder this single handedly. You are barely past the age of majority and need a life of your own to.

    I would talk to your Dad and try to draw in the services you both need. Maybe you and dad need to go to the GP together, or phone social services to kick start the ball rolling for the proper supports.

    Bless you, that's a tall order at your age.

Children
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