I wonder if anyone else has come across this or similar and could give me their perspective on it..
My ex remarried a fews years back... don't have a problem with that. However, he never invited his two sons to the wedding (they were 10 and 12 at the time).
Actually they had no idea he was getting married. They were seeing him on a fairly regular basis so its not like they had no contact.
When he did tell them he had got married, he lied to them, telling them that he had married in a registry office (just the two of them and two witnesses). He then showed them a picture of him and his now wife. The boys at the time thought that this was acceptable and left it at that.
Anyway I had always been good friends with some of my ex's cousins (our kids would often play together), but after this wedding my ex's cousins didn't seem that keen on meeting up. Eventually one of the cousins spilt the beans and said that she was afraid that her kids would let it slip that they had gone to the wedding and would ask my sons why they weren't there? She had no idea either as to why the boys hadn't been invited. I said that I didn't understand and she then told me that I should probably watch his video on YouTube. There were over 300 guests at his wedding including all the kids from his side of the family that our children had grown up with. It was a very lavish affair and definitely nothing like the image he had portrayed to his sons. I was livid. His cousin was equally as upset as she now felt she was part of his deceit and did not like the thought of her children having to play along and keep a secret that was not of their making in order not to hurt their cousins. I did feel for her and understood her plight.
when our children learnt the truth and confronted their father on the phone, he said that he did not appreciate the way they were speaking to him and said he did not understand why they were upset. He then said this sounds like your mother talking. He refused to explain himself, always saying "I don't understand". The boys eventually gave up and hung up on him.
Obviously, I watched the video and all I could think of was "why lie about your wedding and then post the truth on YouTube". Not to mention he would have photos of the day probably displayed around the house so our sons where bound to find out the truth sooner or later.
To this day, I wonder why he did that. His relationship with his sons is now more strained that ever. The trust is gone. they will always remember the deceit. How could they not. Without a proper explanation they are left wondering if this is their fault. It is indeed very cruel. Maybe he feels the truth would hurt them? If so, why create a scenario that would hurt your child. I am truly baffled.
Surely he or at least other members of his family would have seen that would happen and stepped in or warned him that what he was doing would hurt his children.
If anyone has any insight at to why he did what he did then I would love to hear from you.
