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School Lunchtimes

NAS86588

Hi All

I’m really hoping someone out there is able to share their experience or advice, I feel like I’m going round in circles.

My son is autistic, he bright, sociable but struggles with emotional regulation which has led to some serious incidents in the yard at lunchtime. Schools response to this was to remove him from lunchtime play so he plays indoors has a short period outdoors with children and then goes out for structured play with friends once everyone has gone back inside. They phased this out as he was managing better but due to a couple of incidents in the playground over football and games they are thinking of removing him from the playground again and returning to structured play. 

Has anyone experienced this with an autistic child? Is it normal for them to be removed from the playground rather than have support to get through it? My son has already told me that he’s happy to be inside as it means he won’t hurt anyone, I’m finding this really difficult to deal with but I don’t know what the answer is?

Thanks

  • When I was a kid, I would have preferred this arrangement. Lunchtime was just a time for the other kids to be awful to me over nothing until I snapped and lashed out or had a meltdown- is that what's been happening with your son?

    I think if he's happy with inside playtime away from everything/everyone that's bothering him, then that's what matters. I can't say whether removing the kid is more usual than providing support to play outside, but I can say that as an (undiagnosed) autistic child I ended up voluntarily removing myself from outside playtime as soon as clubs and the library were available to me, so it's not necessarily upsetting to an autistic child to be 'left out' if it means they're also being left alone.

  • I absolutely dreaded lunchtimes as a child. So much noise, too cold, and feeling totally isolated because I didn't understand how to join in.

    I now work in a primary school and I volunteered to run a lunchtime club for those children that I saw were having problems in the playground, mostly undiagnosed autistics and kinetics and other neurodivergent kids. 

    It's been a huge success. Every day I have kids asking me if they can have a turn at calm club, even those who don't need it the same way. 

    If your son says that he's happy with the arrangement, then it's probably good for him. Structured play where expectations are clear will help him to get involved with more confidence, and playing with fewer children may also reduce stress.  In my experience controlled situations like this actually help autistic children to make more quality connections, and helps other children to get to know them better too.

  • If your child is happy with arrangements for inside play, I think that is your answer. I suspect that it is your personal reaction to him being 'singled out and excluded' that is the problem, not his reaction, which seems entirely logical. Autistic people (I am one and have an adult autistic daughter) tend to have lower needs to socialise and also less ability to operate well in larger groups of people. If your son is being triggered by being with large numbers of children, when they are in a noisy, over-active, heightened state during playtime, he may prefer not to be exposed to this situation and so remain in a calmer mood.