Period anxiety

Just to answer everyone below, I had tried several different ones at intervals in my 20s-30s and because they interfere with hormone balance (which regulates circadian rhythm, heartbeat, and so on), all these different ones lead to a sudden increased heart rate or other serious life-threatening complications. There's a company in the States called Crystal Star which has been around for decades and their herbal balancing supplements have been life changing for me. It didn't stop anything but they literally stop the pain and have helped regulate. 

I'm with Juniper, preparation is everything. I remember I was like that when my periods first started. I wouldn't go to school, go to the shops, hardly went out and if I did it was never far. Try to help her understand it's ok and completely normal, every girl has this and the crushing anxiety that comes with it.

Make sure she always has the extras needed and doubles as well, nothing worse than running out! Horrible. Always keep these on her wherever she goes as accidents can and do happen.

I think going out somewhere local and quiet is a good idea. My mum did this with me and we went to the end of the garden first, then the park, and eventually I grew more in confidence with going out.

Good luck to her. X

I'm on the progesterone-only pill too and it has massively improved my quality of life! I haven't had a period in about 7 years and I have no negative symptoms associated with the pill. Before I would live in dread waiting for my period and the pain and sensory hell that went along with it, now I don't even have to think about it

I know the pill doesn't work for everyone but it is life-saving for many of us and I wish people would stop demonising it. 

I started birth control when I was 11 because I hated my periods too. Haven’t had one since.

There are a few things worth trying if she hasn't already:

• Different period products- disposable vs reusable pads, tampons, a menstrual cup, period knickers
• Contraceptive methods that stop periods, reduce their frequency, or make them lighter
• A little period emergency kit for when she does go out- including clean knickers, extra period products, maybe some wipes to freshen up with
• Keeping track of when her period is due so she can reduce any uncertainty making the fear worse and be prepared for when it arrives

It might also be worth looking at Robyn Steward's work on autism and periods.

My own periods are a sensory nightmare (as well as physically very painful due to a medical condition) and being super prepared took away a lot of the fear for me because I knew if things did feel unbearably yucky I would be able to do something about it, even if that meant running to the loo to change my knickers in Tescos

Well, for some people it is absolutely necessary. I have endometriosis and going on the progesterone-only version of the pill has stopped my periods so that I'm not in agony for days at a time. Endometriosis has done far more damage to my body than the pill has.

There are risks involved in using hormonal contraception, as there are with any medication, but the risk of serious side effects is low especially with the types currently prescribed. It doesn't suit everyone of course but at this point in its development (roughly 60 years in) the pill is safe and effective for the majority of people who use it. For me, it's been life-changing.

It works for many people and the cancer risk in one area is countered by lowered risk in another. I was put off trying it for years because of worries like this, but regretted not doing it sooner. But we are all different, it's good that the OP gets a range of views to look into. I don't think mild herbal supplements can stop periods, can they? I think the pill is the easiest and least intrusive way to reduce the number of periods to a more manageable level, and at the same time make the bleeds less severe. It is at least an option to consider and weigh the pros and cons.

This may have worked for you, but you may be one in a million! I wouldn't recommend ever going on the pill unless absolutely necessary!! It's proven to cause all kinds of damage and even cancer - not to everyone, but there are mild herbal supplements which may be better suited. x

I used to be on the pill and would run 3 lots together so I only had to have 4 periods a year, and they were generally lighter. This might be an option?

She's not wrong. It's horrid and a nuisance. One has to carry extra things and over-plan, make sure there's toilets if we go somewhere. I would suggest she learn how to prepare.

Step 1. If you can, buy her something nice to pop all "period accessories" into: extra towels or tampons, wet-wipes and an extra pair of knickers for good measure, including a tiny plastic zip pouch should that accident occur. She might find a small zip pouch plus matching pencil case works for tampons and extras. 

Step 2 would be to know what places one might go will have a loo and where a back up would be found should that be closed. "Luck favours the prepared" is the saying for this. 

Then finally, help her use a stopwatch to time intervals, so if she goes in a public space, she can set an alarm. Now, to time this correct, she'll need to add a quick walk to the end of the street and back while being at home. Things seem to flow differently when we move. 

The more in command of this absolute monthly chaos she feels, the easier it will be for her to feel a little ease about going out. You could try something simple the first time: The Library or a Museum. Or to the cafe with a book or homework.