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Advice needed

NAS86454

Hi, we are still waiting for a diagnosis of autism for our ten year old son. He has been masking for some years and has been treated for mental health issues but over the last year, certain behaviours have become more and more apparent. So we sent off for assessments. 
We recently had a mental health assessment with CAHMS and were surprised when the counsellor came out with the fact that he might be autistic in front of our son. We had still been gently preparing him but she just came out with and he said:”I could be autistic?” And she said yes, but it could also be other things, like adhd etc He was absolutely fine with it and took it really well initially. 
However, since that appointment he just seems to be really struggling (meltdowns, etc) we don’t know whether this is him trying to deal with it, or if he is now able to be who he really is.

CAHMS sent us on our way with no further help. All we have is the internet to help us and we are struggling. Has anyone else experienced this? 

Parents

  • It is good that school have suggested a referral as they should be able to work with you to find suitable adjustments to help him. If they are already aware you should not need to wait for a diagnosis to get help.

    It is helpful to try to work out what may have been difficult to cope with before a meltdown. Was it asking him to do something different without warning? Are there particular situations he finds difficult like busy places, not knowing what to do, strong smells, bright lights? If you haven't done this, at an appropriate time after a meltdown whilst you are doing something, for my son it might be whilst traveling in the car, ask about what was difficult, perhaps suggesting possible reasons in case he is not sure.

    My son found things more difficult around 10 as a lot of things were changing at school. Transitions may be particularly hard. If he is changing schools this year, ask about extra visits if they would help, as much visual as possible about where he is going and speak to the SENCO about anything that might help him at school. For my son who started getting help at Secondary before his diagnosis the SENCO has been very important. She is able to ask other staff to make reasonable adjustments to help him, even regarding clothing where he has high sensitivity.

Reply

  • It is good that school have suggested a referral as they should be able to work with you to find suitable adjustments to help him. If they are already aware you should not need to wait for a diagnosis to get help.

    It is helpful to try to work out what may have been difficult to cope with before a meltdown. Was it asking him to do something different without warning? Are there particular situations he finds difficult like busy places, not knowing what to do, strong smells, bright lights? If you haven't done this, at an appropriate time after a meltdown whilst you are doing something, for my son it might be whilst traveling in the car, ask about what was difficult, perhaps suggesting possible reasons in case he is not sure.

    My son found things more difficult around 10 as a lot of things were changing at school. Transitions may be particularly hard. If he is changing schools this year, ask about extra visits if they would help, as much visual as possible about where he is going and speak to the SENCO about anything that might help him at school. For my son who started getting help at Secondary before his diagnosis the SENCO has been very important. She is able to ask other staff to make reasonable adjustments to help him, even regarding clothing where he has high sensitivity.

Children
  • in reply to Homebird

    Thank you so much, these are really practical suggestions. He definitely struggles if I ask something unexpectedly, so I need to think about that before I ask. 

    Because these behaviours have slowly come out more and more over the last eighteen months and there has been quite a lot of masking, I have a lot of learning to do about his triggers.

    We’ve been working with the school a lot over the last few years. They have made a lot of changes and adapted things for him. The SENCO helped us get an EHCP which will be vital for high school. 

    thanks so much for your response ‘