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Struggling with helping myself and my 26 year old son

nikkij

Hi everyone. My son was diagnosed with Aspergers a couple of years ago. he is very high functioning but cannot make friends and is therefore very lonely and depressed. He is also unemployed as he had a breakdown a couple of years ago after the loss of jobs and family misunderstandings. He still sees his psychiatrist every now and again, she considers his depression fairly minor even though he goes through patches of suicidal talk and severe unhappiness where he just sleeps all the time. I go with him to the doctors as getting him to talk is a bit like pulling teeth.

He presents to the rest of the world as being "fine" and it seems that I am the only person that realises how unhappy he is.

 

I am a worrier and want nothing more than to be able to help my son be happy. I do realise I can't do that but I am always trying to be as supportive as I can.

i think that I need to get some support for me as I am slowly getting more and more depressed myself as I don't see any way out of our situation.

When  my son and I talk we are usually having two different conversations. I do my best to ensure that we understand each other but lots of times that has not happened even though I thought it had. Life is very stressful at the moment I am on the verge of tears constantly.

Has anyone got any advice. I am going to see my GP tomorrow. I have had CBT and do understand the theory of being able to turn things around with positive thinking. That is so much easier to say than do. Antidepressants don't agree with me.

I am feeling pretty awful I just need someone to talk to that understands and can perhaps help me to come up with a way of talking to my son that does not usually end in confusion or an argument.

 

Parents

  • Thankyou Nikkij for your reply, and I am sorry to hear about your health scare and wish you well.  I have a few problems with my health not life threatening though and as I am a sole carer I just keep going I have to.  I worry inwardly about the future its a very scary prospect, and one that I have very little control over.  Different parts of the country seem to have better or worse resources and since the NAS doesn't like particular authorities mentioned all I can say is my area seems lacking.  All I can do is support my son who is very low at present..he has been offered a couple of placements in the past both in charitable organisations helping with  the clerical work, both of which on paper seem ideal but he left the first placement when two of the staff lost their jobs due to lack of funding and he was left with a man he didn't like the second potential placement didn't even get off the ground as he felt as though the man in charge was condescending towards him this particular charity closed down very shortly afterwards again due to lack of funding.  I have explained more times than I can count to Social Services that putting my son in a placement for work experience and then walking away without support is not going to work.. he does not [supposedly] meet the criteria for a social worker .. the last assessment he had the social worker said he just needs a bit of a push.....showing a complete lack of any understanding of Autism... I could continue .. thank you for listening ..

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  • Thankyou Nikkij for your reply, and I am sorry to hear about your health scare and wish you well.  I have a few problems with my health not life threatening though and as I am a sole carer I just keep going I have to.  I worry inwardly about the future its a very scary prospect, and one that I have very little control over.  Different parts of the country seem to have better or worse resources and since the NAS doesn't like particular authorities mentioned all I can say is my area seems lacking.  All I can do is support my son who is very low at present..he has been offered a couple of placements in the past both in charitable organisations helping with  the clerical work, both of which on paper seem ideal but he left the first placement when two of the staff lost their jobs due to lack of funding and he was left with a man he didn't like the second potential placement didn't even get off the ground as he felt as though the man in charge was condescending towards him this particular charity closed down very shortly afterwards again due to lack of funding.  I have explained more times than I can count to Social Services that putting my son in a placement for work experience and then walking away without support is not going to work.. he does not [supposedly] meet the criteria for a social worker .. the last assessment he had the social worker said he just needs a bit of a push.....showing a complete lack of any understanding of Autism... I could continue .. thank you for listening ..

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