Struggling with helping myself and my 26 year old son

Hi everyone. My son was diagnosed with Aspergers a couple of years ago. he is very high functioning but cannot make friends and is therefore very lonely and depressed. He is also unemployed as he had a breakdown a couple of years ago after the loss of jobs and family misunderstandings. He still sees his psychiatrist every now and again, she considers his depression fairly minor even though he goes through patches of suicidal talk and severe unhappiness where he just sleeps all the time. I go with him to the doctors as getting him to talk is a bit like pulling teeth.

He presents to the rest of the world as being "fine" and it seems that I am the only person that realises how unhappy he is.

 

I am a worrier and want nothing more than to be able to help my son be happy. I do realise I can't do that but I am always trying to be as supportive as I can.

i think that I need to get some support for me as I am slowly getting more and more depressed myself as I don't see any way out of our situation.

When  my son and I talk we are usually having two different conversations. I do my best to ensure that we understand each other but lots of times that has not happened even though I thought it had. Life is very stressful at the moment I am on the verge of tears constantly.

Has anyone got any advice. I am going to see my GP tomorrow. I have had CBT and do understand the theory of being able to turn things around with positive thinking. That is so much easier to say than do. Antidepressants don't agree with me.

I am feeling pretty awful I just need someone to talk to that understands and can perhaps help me to come up with a way of talking to my son that does not usually end in confusion or an argument.

 

Parents
  • My son is feeling anxious and I am feeling anxious for him, I have spent the past twenty five years telling him something will work out.. dont give up.. I feel so angry .. actually maybe I am past angry with the authorities.. I dont now expect anything..  thats the nub of it .. where do you go when every avenue has been explored ..carers assesments offer diddlysquit.. I am here holding everything together  why should the authorities give anything? my son is I feel assessed by criteria it is impossible to meet..he is well behaved.. quiet and long suffering...gentle and timid.. people have remarked over the years how nice he is.. and he is..  he was bullied at school ..all his dreams and mine evaporated before us .. he still feels hurt by a system that has and never will apologise for failing to protect him..us..  too busy protecting themselves..

    He is on anti depressants but right now he is tearful worried about the future..

    very rarely seen any tears over the years.. he has he says had an epiphany.. thats the scary reality he has also realised what I been protecting him from all these years that the system offers nothing.. he doesn't fulfil the criteria.. too well behaved, and too long suffering, he wants the same things as always a job, friends and a sense of achievement.. I dont know what to do anymore...

Reply
  • My son is feeling anxious and I am feeling anxious for him, I have spent the past twenty five years telling him something will work out.. dont give up.. I feel so angry .. actually maybe I am past angry with the authorities.. I dont now expect anything..  thats the nub of it .. where do you go when every avenue has been explored ..carers assesments offer diddlysquit.. I am here holding everything together  why should the authorities give anything? my son is I feel assessed by criteria it is impossible to meet..he is well behaved.. quiet and long suffering...gentle and timid.. people have remarked over the years how nice he is.. and he is..  he was bullied at school ..all his dreams and mine evaporated before us .. he still feels hurt by a system that has and never will apologise for failing to protect him..us..  too busy protecting themselves..

    He is on anti depressants but right now he is tearful worried about the future..

    very rarely seen any tears over the years.. he has he says had an epiphany.. thats the scary reality he has also realised what I been protecting him from all these years that the system offers nothing.. he doesn't fulfil the criteria.. too well behaved, and too long suffering, he wants the same things as always a job, friends and a sense of achievement.. I dont know what to do anymore...

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