Struggling with helping myself and my 26 year old son

Hi everyone. My son was diagnosed with Aspergers a couple of years ago. he is very high functioning but cannot make friends and is therefore very lonely and depressed. He is also unemployed as he had a breakdown a couple of years ago after the loss of jobs and family misunderstandings. He still sees his psychiatrist every now and again, she considers his depression fairly minor even though he goes through patches of suicidal talk and severe unhappiness where he just sleeps all the time. I go with him to the doctors as getting him to talk is a bit like pulling teeth.

He presents to the rest of the world as being "fine" and it seems that I am the only person that realises how unhappy he is.

 

I am a worrier and want nothing more than to be able to help my son be happy. I do realise I can't do that but I am always trying to be as supportive as I can.

i think that I need to get some support for me as I am slowly getting more and more depressed myself as I don't see any way out of our situation.

When  my son and I talk we are usually having two different conversations. I do my best to ensure that we understand each other but lots of times that has not happened even though I thought it had. Life is very stressful at the moment I am on the verge of tears constantly.

Has anyone got any advice. I am going to see my GP tomorrow. I have had CBT and do understand the theory of being able to turn things around with positive thinking. That is so much easier to say than do. Antidepressants don't agree with me.

I am feeling pretty awful I just need someone to talk to that understands and can perhaps help me to come up with a way of talking to my son that does not usually end in confusion or an argument.

 

Parents
  • Thank you so much for replying to my message. I'm new to the site and the first message that caught my eye and resonated with me was yours. I must admit reading about your daughter made me tearful as I can relate so much with your story.  My son too is finding any kind of work difficult and he always seems to have someone working with him who is really critical and just plain nasty. For you and I it's easy to shrug off but to them it's demeaning and makes them feel worthless. I know my son doesn't mean to upset everyone and I'm gradually trying to understand the complexities of aspergers. He hides his aspergers side very well from other people which I find hard. I hope your daughter finds a job that she is able to cope with, she has certainly done very well coping with uni. Once again thankyou for your reply. Xx

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  • Thank you so much for replying to my message. I'm new to the site and the first message that caught my eye and resonated with me was yours. I must admit reading about your daughter made me tearful as I can relate so much with your story.  My son too is finding any kind of work difficult and he always seems to have someone working with him who is really critical and just plain nasty. For you and I it's easy to shrug off but to them it's demeaning and makes them feel worthless. I know my son doesn't mean to upset everyone and I'm gradually trying to understand the complexities of aspergers. He hides his aspergers side very well from other people which I find hard. I hope your daughter finds a job that she is able to cope with, she has certainly done very well coping with uni. Once again thankyou for your reply. Xx

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