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Struggling with helping myself and my 26 year old son

nikkij

Hi everyone. My son was diagnosed with Aspergers a couple of years ago. he is very high functioning but cannot make friends and is therefore very lonely and depressed. He is also unemployed as he had a breakdown a couple of years ago after the loss of jobs and family misunderstandings. He still sees his psychiatrist every now and again, she considers his depression fairly minor even though he goes through patches of suicidal talk and severe unhappiness where he just sleeps all the time. I go with him to the doctors as getting him to talk is a bit like pulling teeth.

He presents to the rest of the world as being "fine" and it seems that I am the only person that realises how unhappy he is.

 

I am a worrier and want nothing more than to be able to help my son be happy. I do realise I can't do that but I am always trying to be as supportive as I can.

i think that I need to get some support for me as I am slowly getting more and more depressed myself as I don't see any way out of our situation.

When  my son and I talk we are usually having two different conversations. I do my best to ensure that we understand each other but lots of times that has not happened even though I thought it had. Life is very stressful at the moment I am on the verge of tears constantly.

Has anyone got any advice. I am going to see my GP tomorrow. I have had CBT and do understand the theory of being able to turn things around with positive thinking. That is so much easier to say than do. Antidepressants don't agree with me.

I am feeling pretty awful I just need someone to talk to that understands and can perhaps help me to come up with a way of talking to my son that does not usually end in confusion or an argument.

 

Parents

  • Hi, I have just joined the community having just about come to my wits end with regards to my son. I read your post and can totally relate to the things you have been going through. My son has never had a proper assessment but I know that he is an aspergers sufferer by his actions. He is 26 now and as he was growing up I always thought of him as a very shy boy and just a bit odd. I think when they are very young its difficult to put your finger on anything they appear to be doing differently to other children. He seems to be getting worse the older he gets. He hates life, has real outbursts thinking the world owes him something. He has a group of friends who were all together at school, whom he sees as and when but despises social situations and therefore rarely goes out. He has had a few jobs here and there but never settles, giving one excuse or another. He obsesses over football and will sometimes sit there twiddling with his fingers. As you have said I just want him to be happy but wonder if there is anything which will. He also goes on about being a millionaire, as if money will solve anything! He is a handsome boy with good friends but drives me and his father to distraction with his selfish hurtful remarks. I sometimes have major outbursts with him and have to walk away then the next day he will apologise. I've been to the doctor with him and had a referral to mental health but he refuses to go. I know it sounds rediculous but I was glad to read that I'm not the only person having to go through living with a son with aspergers. It's so hard to explain things to people who don't understand. Many thanks

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  • Hi, I have just joined the community having just about come to my wits end with regards to my son. I read your post and can totally relate to the things you have been going through. My son has never had a proper assessment but I know that he is an aspergers sufferer by his actions. He is 26 now and as he was growing up I always thought of him as a very shy boy and just a bit odd. I think when they are very young its difficult to put your finger on anything they appear to be doing differently to other children. He seems to be getting worse the older he gets. He hates life, has real outbursts thinking the world owes him something. He has a group of friends who were all together at school, whom he sees as and when but despises social situations and therefore rarely goes out. He has had a few jobs here and there but never settles, giving one excuse or another. He obsesses over football and will sometimes sit there twiddling with his fingers. As you have said I just want him to be happy but wonder if there is anything which will. He also goes on about being a millionaire, as if money will solve anything! He is a handsome boy with good friends but drives me and his father to distraction with his selfish hurtful remarks. I sometimes have major outbursts with him and have to walk away then the next day he will apologise. I've been to the doctor with him and had a referral to mental health but he refuses to go. I know it sounds rediculous but I was glad to read that I'm not the only person having to go through living with a son with aspergers. It's so hard to explain things to people who don't understand. Many thanks

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