Struggling with helping myself and my 26 year old son

Hi everyone. My son was diagnosed with Aspergers a couple of years ago. he is very high functioning but cannot make friends and is therefore very lonely and depressed. He is also unemployed as he had a breakdown a couple of years ago after the loss of jobs and family misunderstandings. He still sees his psychiatrist every now and again, she considers his depression fairly minor even though he goes through patches of suicidal talk and severe unhappiness where he just sleeps all the time. I go with him to the doctors as getting him to talk is a bit like pulling teeth.

He presents to the rest of the world as being "fine" and it seems that I am the only person that realises how unhappy he is.

 

I am a worrier and want nothing more than to be able to help my son be happy. I do realise I can't do that but I am always trying to be as supportive as I can.

i think that I need to get some support for me as I am slowly getting more and more depressed myself as I don't see any way out of our situation.

When  my son and I talk we are usually having two different conversations. I do my best to ensure that we understand each other but lots of times that has not happened even though I thought it had. Life is very stressful at the moment I am on the verge of tears constantly.

Has anyone got any advice. I am going to see my GP tomorrow. I have had CBT and do understand the theory of being able to turn things around with positive thinking. That is so much easier to say than do. Antidepressants don't agree with me.

I am feeling pretty awful I just need someone to talk to that understands and can perhaps help me to come up with a way of talking to my son that does not usually end in confusion or an argument.

 

Parents
  • hank you for replying. I do find coming here helpful as it is interesting to hear of others experiences it makes me feel less alone. 

    Before my son was diagnosed everything was "my fault" I was told I was an overprotective mum and that he would be fine if I just let him go.

    More than anything I want him to be able to "go" and make friends have a job etc. etc.

    I am retired and my son is late 20s so we are stuck in a pattern of behaviours, he lives with me.

    I cannot just chuck him out and let him get on with it as I know there is no real support for him.

    Maybe one day he will find his niche and life will actually give him some enjoyment. Until then I just bash on being as supportive as I can.

    I am waiting to hear about a support group "class" for me that will help me deal with our issues and perhaps understand my son more.

Reply
  • hank you for replying. I do find coming here helpful as it is interesting to hear of others experiences it makes me feel less alone. 

    Before my son was diagnosed everything was "my fault" I was told I was an overprotective mum and that he would be fine if I just let him go.

    More than anything I want him to be able to "go" and make friends have a job etc. etc.

    I am retired and my son is late 20s so we are stuck in a pattern of behaviours, he lives with me.

    I cannot just chuck him out and let him get on with it as I know there is no real support for him.

    Maybe one day he will find his niche and life will actually give him some enjoyment. Until then I just bash on being as supportive as I can.

    I am waiting to hear about a support group "class" for me that will help me deal with our issues and perhaps understand my son more.

Children
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