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Struggling with helping myself and my 26 year old son

nikkij

Hi everyone. My son was diagnosed with Aspergers a couple of years ago. he is very high functioning but cannot make friends and is therefore very lonely and depressed. He is also unemployed as he had a breakdown a couple of years ago after the loss of jobs and family misunderstandings. He still sees his psychiatrist every now and again, she considers his depression fairly minor even though he goes through patches of suicidal talk and severe unhappiness where he just sleeps all the time. I go with him to the doctors as getting him to talk is a bit like pulling teeth.

He presents to the rest of the world as being "fine" and it seems that I am the only person that realises how unhappy he is.

 

I am a worrier and want nothing more than to be able to help my son be happy. I do realise I can't do that but I am always trying to be as supportive as I can.

i think that I need to get some support for me as I am slowly getting more and more depressed myself as I don't see any way out of our situation.

When  my son and I talk we are usually having two different conversations. I do my best to ensure that we understand each other but lots of times that has not happened even though I thought it had. Life is very stressful at the moment I am on the verge of tears constantly.

Has anyone got any advice. I am going to see my GP tomorrow. I have had CBT and do understand the theory of being able to turn things around with positive thinking. That is so much easier to say than do. Antidepressants don't agree with me.

I am feeling pretty awful I just need someone to talk to that understands and can perhaps help me to come up with a way of talking to my son that does not usually end in confusion or an argument.

 

Parents

  • Thank you all so much for posting. I had not been back here for a while as things have been really hectic of late and I had not realised that postings had happened.

    I did not go to the doctor yet as she will just thrust more pills my way as a solution and I don't like taking them and being in a fog.

    My son has just been accepted as a late part time student at University. This has brought lots more worry as they just don't seem to "get" his problems. He has applied for DSA but this can take up to 3 months to be granted. In the mean time, after a lot of pressure from me they supplied a mentor for an hour a week. When he met her she knew nothing about Aspergers she was specialised in Dyslexia!!!! so that did not go well.

    There has been lots of confusion about what he has to attend in the way of lectures and classes and what he can do from lecture notes at home. He was originally told that was Ok but they are back pedalling saying he has to go to lectures. 

    He is hanging in there and just going to the labs once a week at the moment. We will have a clearer picture once we have had his DSA assessment as to what he has to attend and what support the University needs to provide.

    Geordie it sounds like you daughter has a similar problem to my son , he will not participate in anything social. Its not that he does not want to, he tells me he just cannot join in.

    I so wish that there was some way to help him get more out of University. It would be so nice if he made a friend.

    Good luck to you to Geordie and best wishes for your daughter may they both be happy:)

    Nikkij

Reply

  • Thank you all so much for posting. I had not been back here for a while as things have been really hectic of late and I had not realised that postings had happened.

    I did not go to the doctor yet as she will just thrust more pills my way as a solution and I don't like taking them and being in a fog.

    My son has just been accepted as a late part time student at University. This has brought lots more worry as they just don't seem to "get" his problems. He has applied for DSA but this can take up to 3 months to be granted. In the mean time, after a lot of pressure from me they supplied a mentor for an hour a week. When he met her she knew nothing about Aspergers she was specialised in Dyslexia!!!! so that did not go well.

    There has been lots of confusion about what he has to attend in the way of lectures and classes and what he can do from lecture notes at home. He was originally told that was Ok but they are back pedalling saying he has to go to lectures. 

    He is hanging in there and just going to the labs once a week at the moment. We will have a clearer picture once we have had his DSA assessment as to what he has to attend and what support the University needs to provide.

    Geordie it sounds like you daughter has a similar problem to my son , he will not participate in anything social. Its not that he does not want to, he tells me he just cannot join in.

    I so wish that there was some way to help him get more out of University. It would be so nice if he made a friend.

    Good luck to you to Geordie and best wishes for your daughter may they both be happy:)

    Nikkij

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