Struggling with helping myself and my 26 year old son

Hi everyone. My son was diagnosed with Aspergers a couple of years ago. he is very high functioning but cannot make friends and is therefore very lonely and depressed. He is also unemployed as he had a breakdown a couple of years ago after the loss of jobs and family misunderstandings. He still sees his psychiatrist every now and again, she considers his depression fairly minor even though he goes through patches of suicidal talk and severe unhappiness where he just sleeps all the time. I go with him to the doctors as getting him to talk is a bit like pulling teeth.

He presents to the rest of the world as being "fine" and it seems that I am the only person that realises how unhappy he is.

 

I am a worrier and want nothing more than to be able to help my son be happy. I do realise I can't do that but I am always trying to be as supportive as I can.

i think that I need to get some support for me as I am slowly getting more and more depressed myself as I don't see any way out of our situation.

When  my son and I talk we are usually having two different conversations. I do my best to ensure that we understand each other but lots of times that has not happened even though I thought it had. Life is very stressful at the moment I am on the verge of tears constantly.

Has anyone got any advice. I am going to see my GP tomorrow. I have had CBT and do understand the theory of being able to turn things around with positive thinking. That is so much easier to say than do. Antidepressants don't agree with me.

I am feeling pretty awful I just need someone to talk to that understands and can perhaps help me to come up with a way of talking to my son that does not usually end in confusion or an argument.

 

Parents
  • Hi 

    My daughter is 19 years old and like your son spends alot of time on her laptop or gamestation rather than getting a good night sleep. She is currently at university and as she doesn't get in volved in the social side of uni she spends alot of time in her room on her laptop until early hours of the morning. I worry about her health and lack of sleep as she is very under weight although she eats for england. I totally understand how you feel I know that although on the outside my daughter seems ok underneath she isn't happy. She gets defensive if I try to discuss things with her and as she has only been recently diagnosed I am unsure what to say as I dont want to give her a complex about not going out or spending so much time on the computer. I am so proud of her and love her so much but am totally worn out with worrying and the negativity from her. I don't have an answer for you but I wanted you to know I know how you feel you are not alone. Good luck. sorry posted this and realised I had sent it to the wrong person - gosh i must be more stressed than i thought!!!! However some of it relateds to you nikkij, as mums who just want our children to be happy. Best wishes.

Reply
  • Hi 

    My daughter is 19 years old and like your son spends alot of time on her laptop or gamestation rather than getting a good night sleep. She is currently at university and as she doesn't get in volved in the social side of uni she spends alot of time in her room on her laptop until early hours of the morning. I worry about her health and lack of sleep as she is very under weight although she eats for england. I totally understand how you feel I know that although on the outside my daughter seems ok underneath she isn't happy. She gets defensive if I try to discuss things with her and as she has only been recently diagnosed I am unsure what to say as I dont want to give her a complex about not going out or spending so much time on the computer. I am so proud of her and love her so much but am totally worn out with worrying and the negativity from her. I don't have an answer for you but I wanted you to know I know how you feel you are not alone. Good luck. sorry posted this and realised I had sent it to the wrong person - gosh i must be more stressed than i thought!!!! However some of it relateds to you nikkij, as mums who just want our children to be happy. Best wishes.

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