Hello, and apologies for the essay!!
I am concerned about my brother Matthew who has high functioning Asperger's syndrome and was hoping some of you nice folk could give me a bit of guidance or signpost me to good contacts.
Matthew often tells my family and myself that he is very depressed and fed up with his constricted life. My parents are away this weekend on a rare break and so I am looking after him, and this morning he was in floods of tears saying he is depressed and can't cope with not having his own friends and freedom. He was so upset I had to bin his breakfast as he could not eat it .
Overall, Matthew is very sociable given his Asperger's and wants nothing more than to have frequent, positive social interactions. However, making friends has not been easy for him. He also has left-sided hemiplegia which excludes him from a lot of physical activities. There's also the added complication that we live in Belfast and there are fewer organisations unlike that found over in the rest of the UK.
Matthew is frustrated that most of the social activities he attends are generally with other people with severe disabilities as he wants to make friends with people he can have conversations with. Matthew says that he often feels like one of the volunteers in these gatherings, helping people out and explaining things to them.
Matthew has also had more than his fair share of negative experiences- one summer he was a volunteer youth worker with children without disabilities but they homed in on his differences and called him 'weird' and 'a freak' amongst other things. Matthew also had a pretty awful education as he went to a special needs school which had never had anyone with AS and they (the teaching staff!) have traumatised him for life in certain aspects. He also has felt pretty much left out in other situations arranged through his social worker. This has understandably caused him to have pretty negative expectations.
I am anxious that I find something positive for him. He really is a good lad and would love a job as well. He currently works in several charity shops which gets him out of the house and gives him a few responsibilities.But he clearly feels there is a large chunk missing in his life. He has friends online and one friend who shares his interests who he sees once a month.
I would LOVE to know if anyone can give me advice for a 21 year old who lives in Northern Ireland and has the added complications of a physical disability (he can walk and has full use of one hand).
It kills me to see him so miserable!
Any advice much appreciated!
