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Delaying school start for ASD summer born child

NAS86235

My son is undergoing an ASD diagnosis I have known he had autism from 12 months with him showing signs from 5 months of age. He is non verbal, very immature for his age, is not potty trained, only just starting to communicate basic needs with PECS and born 31sty July so one of the youngest in the year, he currently struggles to interact and engage with peers. I am seriously considering delaying his start to reception for another year so he will have just turned 5 before he goes, my husband and mum disagree with me but I want to give my son the best chance at success. I am fairly certain I have ASD and potentially ADHD too , I was summer born 25th August and always extremely immature compared to my peer, we lived in Northern Ireland for one year and I got put back a year and can honestly say that was the happiest time I ever had a school which consoliates my desire to keep my son back. I do have concerns though as his nursery is a private nursery and although they support him I know they don't want him to stay for another year. I don't know how I feel about keeping him there.

Thanks in advance for reading and your responses.

Forgot to say he has just had his final EHCP drafted.

Parents

  • Hi - I wanted to reply as I have personal experience of this. When my youngest was about to start school I was thinking as you are now - although at that point my son hadn’t been diagnosed and he was verbal. 
    I wanted to delay a year (he was also a late summer born child) but we were persuaded by the school not to delay. So myself and my husband felt pushed into sending him even though all our instincts said we shouldn’t.

    Anyway it went REALLY badly. After about 2 days my son was absolutely distraught when I dropped him off at school every morning and this went on for weeks and weeks, it was just terrible. He also developed Selective Mutism in educational settings which he had throughout his whole school/college life.

    So I bitterly regretted being persuaded into him starting school at just turned 4. He wasn’t ready and I should have followed my instincts as a mother. Lots of other people were saying that he didn’t seem ready too, but the school pretty much strong armed me into it. Huge mistake. 

    Follow your instincts. A mother’s instincts can be very reliable. In many other countries children start primary school much older  than they do here. Be brave and do what you feel is right for your child, There’s lots of research that shows that a later start is good for children educationally - so do a bit of research into the studies on this if you feel that would be helpful to you making the decision with confidence. 
    Good luck! I really don’t want you to make the same mistake we made! Because my son paid a heavy price for my lack of courage to follow my instincts and tell the headmaster that I was not going to do as he said I should. I wished I’d had the confidence to say no. 

Reply

  • Hi - I wanted to reply as I have personal experience of this. When my youngest was about to start school I was thinking as you are now - although at that point my son hadn’t been diagnosed and he was verbal. 
    I wanted to delay a year (he was also a late summer born child) but we were persuaded by the school not to delay. So myself and my husband felt pushed into sending him even though all our instincts said we shouldn’t.

    Anyway it went REALLY badly. After about 2 days my son was absolutely distraught when I dropped him off at school every morning and this went on for weeks and weeks, it was just terrible. He also developed Selective Mutism in educational settings which he had throughout his whole school/college life.

    So I bitterly regretted being persuaded into him starting school at just turned 4. He wasn’t ready and I should have followed my instincts as a mother. Lots of other people were saying that he didn’t seem ready too, but the school pretty much strong armed me into it. Huge mistake. 

    Follow your instincts. A mother’s instincts can be very reliable. In many other countries children start primary school much older  than they do here. Be brave and do what you feel is right for your child, There’s lots of research that shows that a later start is good for children educationally - so do a bit of research into the studies on this if you feel that would be helpful to you making the decision with confidence. 
    Good luck! I really don’t want you to make the same mistake we made! Because my son paid a heavy price for my lack of courage to follow my instincts and tell the headmaster that I was not going to do as he said I should. I wished I’d had the confidence to say no. 

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