When to tell?

My 9 year old daughter has been on the camhs waiting list for ASD diagnosis since Summer 2020. Her teacher flagged up that she may be ASD in Year 1 and the school have historically been great in adapting to meet her needs. 

However, we are noticing her beginning to struggle more as time goes on (especially socially) and I fear that she is learning to mask her ASD traits and internally suffering to a high degree (She'll often have unexplained meltdowns at home where she can't explain what's happened or upsetting her)

We haven't yet talked to her about the possibility of her being autistic. She suffers on and off with anxiety and we felt she was very young at the start, didn't want her to think there was something is wrong with her. But now she is getting older she is noticing differences herself and I fear she'll reach the conclusion there's something wrong with her (which is obviously not the case, she's a gem!) 

What age did people tell children they were possibly ASD? Should I wait until we receive a diagnosis? 

Parents
  • When we began to think my son was autistic, although school did not agree, we had to discuss it with him as he was finding things in school difficult and he needed to be referred by the GP. I think he was 9 at the time. If we had not discussed it with him he would not have been referred or gone for the assessment as neither were easy. 

    Once he got the diagnosis it was helpful when asking for adjustments in school. He has chosen not to tell friends, but it does help adults to support him.

    Personally it helps to know why some things are difficult and work out ways to manage things.

  • Thank you for your comments, really so helpful. We've been lucky that school have always been really helpful so far but I'm not sure how that will continue as she gets older. As you say, I think it will really help her personally understand why some things are difficult and to make sense of things a bit more 

Reply
  • Thank you for your comments, really so helpful. We've been lucky that school have always been really helpful so far but I'm not sure how that will continue as she gets older. As you say, I think it will really help her personally understand why some things are difficult and to make sense of things a bit more 

Children
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