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Working full time

Becky

Our son is on the waiting list for Autistic Diagnosis Service but I’m really struggling managing all the meetings, appointments, calls whilst working full time. Both me and his dad work full time Monday - Friday so we utilise after school clubs and breakfast clubs where possible. 

Now things are moving forwards we are really struggling to keep up with all the appointments and calls required, we don’t have enough annual leave to cover all the school holidays plus every appointment aswell. 

I guess I am just wondering if other parents have managed to keep full time jobs whilst going through this or if you’ve had to leave to manage it all. 

I love my career and my partner is the higher earner so it would be me stepping down but financially it would make things extremely difficult but I know if we don’t attend everything we risk losing everything we are working towards for our son 

  • I have had to adjust my working but fortunately in my work we can apply to reduce hours for child care if it fits with the business. Due to my son's difficulties we were able to apply for DLA. It is possible to apply before a diagnosis if his difficulties mean he needs extra support.

  • Is it possible for either or both of you to work 4 longer days? I work an hour longer than our standard shift for 4 days which only loses 3.5hrs a week. A lot of my colleagues work 8-6 for 4 days which is 38 paid hours. I really like having a set day off in the week to get things done and I also have what I call “sitting time” at some point between lunch and the school run

  • Hello, 

    I’m really sorry that things are so difficult and I totally understand as I went through the same myself. I gave up my career when my son was young as I couldn’t cope with all the appointments or the constant trying to help him whilst juggling a full-time job. My son is now 21 and things are easier. I’ll be honest, there were times when I felt something akin to grief over the career I’d given up, but 2 years ago I decided that I could put my experiences of trying to help him and all that I’d learned whilst doing that, into a new career. I looked into jobs in charities related to autism and jobs in young peoples’ support services.  I went into teaching in the end, with an emphasis on SEND. It absolutely love it. It brings me far more joy than my previous career ever did. 
    I mention all of this because I think it hopefully shows that stopping work is not necessarily the end that it can maybe seem. My thoughts would be

    1. could you work part-time in your current job?

    2. could you do something from home that might be more flexible? Online tutoring or something similar? 

    3. could you take a break from your current job if this is the most difficult period for your son? I know for example that the NHS has some kind of scheme for parents taking a sabbatical year for family purposes (I’m not sure of the details, but my husband considered it at the time)

    4. could you decide to give up work for a few years and embrace learning lots of new skills as you help your son and then later look at how you could maybe use them in the workplace?

    5. would stopping work impact whether you could afford any help that he might need?

    Im sorry if none of that helps. It’s a total nightmare having to make decisions like this, but I’m sure that whatever you decide will be the right thing. I hope it all works out for you and your son.