• Replies 4 replies
  • Subscribers 65 subscribers
  • Views 702 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

mainstream, pru or home ed???

cris01

!Hello, I am soooo stuck at the moment! I have a 14yr old son who has AS/SPD, he is (supposed to be in yr 10. )Long story, usual fobbed off with statementing etc etc, when he went to high school was getting bullied (this is a school with as asd unit btw) no statement because "we are paying for the unit" he was piggybacking another childs support, but that child was excluded. So beg yr 9 he started at a different high school. Forgot to say self harming etc. Started ok last Sept there, but then gradually went downhill, taking ages to get him in school, more self harming next to no help from cahms. Then in June total school refusal. Now he should be starting yr 10, he chose his GCSE subjects (predicted to get A* in maths, but poor at getting work down on paper and very slow- processing difficulties) 

Now he started at the pru last week, but highly anxious, wont go in or stay without me. The new high school had agreed he needed a statement in January, but LA turned it down, so i reapplied, statement came through last week but only for 15hrs. I am not convinced I will get him in mainstream again, not convinced he will stay at the pru on his own either. I had my eye on a independant school for HFA, I went to look around it in July, was ideal. But now they have no places. I have to name a school by Weds, has anyone got any idea what I should do? There are other schools but none will match his educational needs. Should I carry on with the statement, will they be able to use it in the pru (assuming he stays there). Or should I just give up and home educate (his preffered option). 

I was ready to go to tribunal to get himin this school, which is half an hour away and is ideal, but I really dont know what to do now. Any suggestions gratefully received!

  • Hi,

    If his self esteem is that low, i would keep him close and try home schooling ( which you said is his preferred choice).  Try and get him out and doing things that will help boost his self confidence, join a new club or social group.  keep a close eye on things, especially if he does not talk much.  Do as much as you can to get him out of this rut.  School him at home and then look at everything a fresh in 6 months.

    At the moment i would do my best to boost his moral and get him out of that sad place and not worry about school.

    Puffin

     

  • Thank you for your replies.  My son will not discuss school with me. He is very poor at communicating anything, he can't even decide what he wants for breakfast! If I ask him something, anything he has stock phrases like "I love my dog " and "My dog is awesome". He does not know where hewants to go, I think he knows he doesn't want to go back to his mainstream school, and I don't think he's very happy at the pru (but he has only been there one week). He says school is scary and soneone might murder him. He finds it difficult to say if he would like to go to a specialist school, because in his eyes he doesn't know because he has never tried it, and he is scared of giving the "wrong answer" I think.

    IntenseWorld,if you name a maintained school, then thatschool has to accept you, but independant schools aren't covered by that rule. 

    Heis not in a good place his self esteem is really low.I

  • I think with a statement, you can insist on a particular school that best suits the needs of your child (even if it's an independent school), and that even if they don't have a place they have to make space.  I'm not 100% sure so check with an organisation like www.ipsea.org.uk.

  • Hi there!  I'm not sure I can really give you any pratical advice on this - i am sure there are others who can.  But reading your post makes me think the following...  You and your son need to decide first what you want to happen.  What is the ideal here?  Do you feel he'll do best at mainstream or not?  Once you've decided what you actually want, eg more funding on statement, a place in this independent school etc then you need to be single minded about fighting for it.  I think you have more chance of being fobbed off when you yourself don't have a clear goal.  You say you have to name a school by Wednesday - or what?  Hope it helps a little.  Good luck.