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Advice & support please

Becky

I’m brand new here and I’m really hoping someone can give me some advice. Our son is 6 and we are going through the process of getting some support/diagnosis. 

Bit of background, he was born premature, delayed with motor & speech but not excessively but enough to have speech therapy. Developmentally delayed at school with maths, English etc. he struggles massively with sensory overwhelm. Loud noises, unfamiliar situations, too many people, chews everything excessively clothes, chews, blankets etc, won’t cut, brush or wash his hair. Terrified of rain hitting his head etc, won’t go near public transport because of all the sounds and people etc. will hide under tables if he becomes upset of overwhelmed. No 

No sense of danger, when he becomes overwhelmed he will run off, hit, kick, scream, bite etc as if he’s in a different world all together. Just a very glazed look. Always jumping over furniture, climbing everywhere. 

School don’t see all the behaviours we do other than can’t sit still, needs sensory breaks and is behind his peers but they do recognise he is likely masking as the second he leaves school he will hit me, kick me, scream etc in my face as if he’s just releasing after the day. 

We have had no real support up to now and we have just adapted our lives to help him and support him, however CAHMS called me yesterday and they believe he needs to be assessed and supported. I am really grateful it’s not all in my head and they see what I do. However when I speak with close family they just say well he’s not autistic because he’s sociable and makes friends, we have seen him play imaginatively so he won’t be autistic!! I just feel deflated and not listened to. 

I agree he is very sociable and has friends. However he doesn’t always understand social situations, he doesn’t see if a child is been mean to him and he will just copy their behaviour and fight them for example. Plus he will only tolerate it for so long before he becomes overwhelmed and kicks off. 

With regards to play, he loves figures and has them in certain areas in his room, we are never allowed to touch them prove them  or he would flip and smash his room up etc. He pretends to be animals and characters all the time but in an obsessive way, so he becomes that animal and if we don’t call him a dog or a cat for example he becomes so angry and distressed. Just not what I would say normal imaginative play. 

I guess I just don’t know what to think anymore, if my family think it’s not possible for him to be autistic what is actually going on. Is it possible to get an autistic diagnosis for a child that is sociable and has some imaginative play? 

  • Dear Becky,

    This must be a very confusing and stressful situation for you.  There is lots of information and advice on our website which can help, but a good start might be the pre-diagnosis support guide for parents and carers which you can find here:

    https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/diagnosis/pre-diagnosis/parents-and-carers

    You may like to look at our information about autism spectrum disorders: 

    https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/what-is-autism.

    I hope that helps.

    Regards,

    Kerri-Mod

  • My son is autistic. He used to play with characters incessantly. 

    When he was young he used to copy action on TV programmes.

    He has friends but they often change.

    These seem similar to things you mentioned if that helps.

    You mention support, there may be a local parents group or Facebook group you can join. It is worth asking when you get support or ask his school, as it is helpful to talk to people who understand.

  • Hi Becky. To me, it sounds like your son has a lot of the classic signs of autism. There are always doubts, the same as what I had for my son, because he seems friendly, smiles, gives eye contact and plays imaginatively, but I was told these can be learned behaviours. So rather than playing through imagination, they are imitating what they have seen someone else doing.

    All kids are different and don't always hit every "symptom". My son is conscientious, caring, loves hugs and has friends, but he has many other struggles associated with autism.

    Friends and family tend to give their 2 pence worth without really understanding autism.  I would definitely trust the professionals to help you out. Its worth it even if autism is not diagnosed, perhaps it will lead to other diagnoses that will help your son. An EHCP might help enormously. Since my son received diagnosis and specialist support, he and gone from strength to strength. He will always struggle but we are in a much better position that had we been without any of it xx