• Replies 2 replies
  • Subscribers 68 subscribers
  • Views 1860 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

Self sabotage

NAS85497

My boy is now 10. He is autistic and has adhd and other diagnosis. He has had rubbish school life so far mainstream fell apart for him in y2 and was horrendous. Then his sen school were rubbish promised the moon and stars and all they did as put him in danger and fail to meet his ehcp. He has just started transition into a new asd only school. The school is amazing. He won’t be full time till after Easter. Yet as much as he loves it the bad behaviour we have every few days is heartbreaking. He lies, he is a bully, he swears and it’s out of the blue. No matter how hard I am or how much I try and get him to stop he doesn’t. I can’t understand. This is his last hope I have been fighting for so long and I don’t know what’s left if they put him out of here. Im do low and I can’t cope. I don’t know what more I can do. I will fight any system but I can’t fight him. I wish someone would tell me what to do.

Parents

  • I’m sorry you’re going through this. This sounds off- when you say: 

    NAS85497 said:
    He lies, he is a bully, he swears and it’s out of the blue.

    …Behaviour, or “animated expression” is rarely out of the blue. Something will be happening at school that is intensely impacting him and sending into survival mode, it sounds like. 

    Autistic and ADHD kids can have incredible sensory perception, but that means the inability to fill their senses the same creates intense impact. Autistics in particular will struggle with language and vocabulary, which compounds the frustration of communicating what they’re experiencing. In turn, they may appear to lash out in response to something they feel they’re being harmed by. 

    It might be useful to walk with him after school in places where problems occurred and see if you can help him communicate what’s happening. With boys, the added stress of bullying can create a great deal of difficulty they may not be able to explain without a degree in sociology. 

    We sense perceive beyond our years. There will always be a reason, but it may require looking beyond what’s expected and helping him find different ways to de stress and also express. 

Reply

  • I’m sorry you’re going through this. This sounds off- when you say: 

    NAS85497 said:
    He lies, he is a bully, he swears and it’s out of the blue.

    …Behaviour, or “animated expression” is rarely out of the blue. Something will be happening at school that is intensely impacting him and sending into survival mode, it sounds like. 

    Autistic and ADHD kids can have incredible sensory perception, but that means the inability to fill their senses the same creates intense impact. Autistics in particular will struggle with language and vocabulary, which compounds the frustration of communicating what they’re experiencing. In turn, they may appear to lash out in response to something they feel they’re being harmed by. 

    It might be useful to walk with him after school in places where problems occurred and see if you can help him communicate what’s happening. With boys, the added stress of bullying can create a great deal of difficulty they may not be able to explain without a degree in sociology. 

    We sense perceive beyond our years. There will always be a reason, but it may require looking beyond what’s expected and helping him find different ways to de stress and also express. 

Children
No Data