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Temper and hitting out at school - Son 9 years old ASD.

Clare

Hi

Apologies in advance if this has been asked before, I really need help in getting my son to understand when other children in his class annoy him that hitting out isn’t the right thing to do. I’ve talked to him until I’m blue in the face about how this is unacceptable behaviour, he just blames the other children for annoying him. He is in mainstream school with light support, currently appealing EHCP assessment request. He is a very clever young man, but seriously struggles with all aspects of social/school life.

Parents

  • Sounds like you are both having a hard time at the moment. 

    He's probably right, children can be horrible especially if they know that your son will lash out and he will be in trouble for it, so they probably are really annoying him. 

    He needs to understand that it's ok to feel the emotions that he feels and there is nothing wrong with that, however he needs to displace it. Have you considered buying a punchbag for him, that can help many children with autism to let out their anger in a less harmful way to others. Potentially, ripping up paper or stamping his feet as hard as he can.

    Speak to school and see how they feel about letting him get up and leave the classroom if he starts to feel annoyed by someone. Could just be a wander down the corridor or something. The longer he stays in the classroom sitting with the feeling of annoyance the higher the chance he will lash out, which nobody wants including your son. He doesn't purposely hurt people, he doesn't know how to deal with his emotions.

    Alisha xx

    P.S. you are doing a fab job! 

Reply

  • Sounds like you are both having a hard time at the moment. 

    He's probably right, children can be horrible especially if they know that your son will lash out and he will be in trouble for it, so they probably are really annoying him. 

    He needs to understand that it's ok to feel the emotions that he feels and there is nothing wrong with that, however he needs to displace it. Have you considered buying a punchbag for him, that can help many children with autism to let out their anger in a less harmful way to others. Potentially, ripping up paper or stamping his feet as hard as he can.

    Speak to school and see how they feel about letting him get up and leave the classroom if he starts to feel annoyed by someone. Could just be a wander down the corridor or something. The longer he stays in the classroom sitting with the feeling of annoyance the higher the chance he will lash out, which nobody wants including your son. He doesn't purposely hurt people, he doesn't know how to deal with his emotions.

    Alisha xx

    P.S. you are doing a fab job! 

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