• Replies 3 replies
  • Subscribers 65 subscribers
  • Views 1426 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

Emotions

L56

Hi There

We are currently starting the assessment process with my son who is 6 years old and i could really do with some advice.

As with ppl on the ASD spectrum my son needs routine and he is really struggling right now coping with the change of class at school. He's sleeping even worse then he usually does and is suffering alot of anxiety = meltdowns etc especially from bedtime and getting ready in the mornings.

There are 2 reasons i feel really lost. Firstly, and i don't know how common this is, the teacher says he is absolutly fine at school and just gets on with things. He's the complete opposite when he comes home and can take hours to get back to a calm state. He's always been like this and so the school haven't really supported me in terms of going for a diagnosis. We took him for an initial visit with a paediatrician who has written to the school to suggest strategies to support him especially in the transition from school to home. I have been into school to see his new teacher and she is willing to provide a timetable prompt, i'm hugely greatful for that but it was all laced with " i can't believe your child behaves like that". 

Secondly, how do i help him explain how he feels. He has a basic grasp of happy/sad, but if you ask him what upsets him, worries him etc he doesn't understand. It makes it hard to help him especially with the school anxiety because i can't figure out exatly whats making him worry. He just says he doesn't know.

Thanks everyone xx

  • You're welcome.  No I don't think it would be patronising, and if the teacher takes it that way then s/he has a personality issue!  You are about trying to do the best for your son and s/he should be too.  The teacher should take it as really useful information and may even be genuinely grateful you have put him/her on a learning curve.

    Another thing, is that under stress sensory issues can get worse, e.g. auditory issues can be heightened.

    Some people with ASC can get distressed by strong smells and if you worry about it, you can hyperfocus and not think of anything else.

    He may have trouble being around a lot of people, even if no-one is doing anything specifically noisy like screaming, just the ambient noise of general talking in the canteen or noise of playing in the playground, or chattering when hanging up coats etc.  Or if the school is on a busy road maybe traffic is noisy outside.

  • Hi There

    Thank you so much for you your reply you don't know useful this has been for me to read. The link was really helpful, do you think it would be patronising for me to take that into the teacher?? I will also be scanning e-bay.

    I believe that you are right regarding sensory issues. He does have problems with noise (in certain places), touch and smell but it hasn't occured to me that emotions are linked into senses (although that makes huge sense). 

    Thank you again and many many thanks x

  • You could video him to get proof.  It's a shame your have to prove it at all, I don't know what's wrong with professionals, do they seriously, I mean seriously, think that parents want to go through all the stress of taking their child for assessments and investigations and complaining to the school just for the fun of it!

    Show the school this (not that they should need it!):

    http://www.autism.org.uk/living-with-autism/understanding-behaviour/behaviour-common-questions-answered/different-behaviour-between-school-and-home.aspx

    It sounds as if a lot of it might be sensory issues as well as routine.  I can tell you, as I have Asperger's, that a lot of us have alexithymia which means trouble identifying feelings and I am an adult and still struggling at times to identify issues I have.  We tend to react stressfully (as well as having in-built anxiety) to environment without always knowing exactly what it is, just know we need to escape it.  eBay has social stories you can buy and this might help him.