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Excluded after meltdown - what can I do/my rights?

ParentingAutism

My daughter had an amazing first week back at school but has now unfortunately gone back to her old ways. This usually happens. She asked to come home on Monday, after being there for 20 minutes, if that. They then had to immediately close the school for a couple of days due to sickness, students were back yesterday. 

Yesterday we got a phone call from school saying it's an emergency and she has to be picked up immediately. They explained she was assaulting staff and self-harming. Both myself and my husband were working which was annoying. My husband left work and drove 1hr 20 minutes away to collect her. She was in her Sports lesson, which is ice skating and refused to get in the school car. They haven't said anymore. Currently, I am awaiting replies and a phone call from them. 

My daughter explained that a student upset her on the way to her lesson, they share a school car, it's roughly a 40 minute drive. Then when she arrived it was too busy, noisy and bright, Then her ice skates would fit so got frustrated and gave up. She couldn't calm herself down and had a meltdown leading to self-injurious behaviour and staff getting assaulted (which she said didn't happen or if they did get hurt it was an accident). That's all I've found out from her. She is still slightly dysregulated and in pain, she also hasn't eaten or drunk anything since she really struggles to do this when she's feeling like this. She had an ice cream yesterday for breakfast, not the healthiest, but if she's eating, that's amazing. 

What can I do now? I've told school I don't want her going offsite because I don't want this to happen again but she's not happy with this. They haven't explained why she's excluded but I'm guessing it's because of assaulting staff. Staff are coming round on Monday for a restorative chat to discuss the incident. I personally don't want her going back to school but she likes it and wants to keep going and I want to respect that. 

Many thanks if you read this. 

Parents

  • If nothing changes, nothing changes. 

    School is not the right environment for her. 

  • in reply to Desmond79

    School has never been the right environment but we've tried homeschooling and that didn't work out, she kept running away. She is adamant to stay in school and will get unbelievably upset when I say I don't want her going back since it's not doing her any good. She is a fighter, even when she struggles and things don't go right with school, especially in the past, she will not give up without a fight and will fight her corner until something is done about the problem. That's how she managed to get in the school. She knows what she wants and she wants to stay in school. She won't cope in college or in any other setting. She learns to drive in July so when she passes, she'll have more freedom then I think she'll get on with life better. She is also waiting until she's 18 and leaves school so she can run her own business. 

    I believe one of the problems here with school is her interests. She is so interested in psychology and how the brain works especially people with special needs. She wants to work with children with special needs, especially autism, therefore I believe she is learning about autism through her peers, which is another reason she doesn't want to leave. She also helps them out in school and with a couple of students, keeps an eye on them making sure they are ok. There's not much I can do. 

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  • in reply to Desmond79

    School has never been the right environment but we've tried homeschooling and that didn't work out, she kept running away. She is adamant to stay in school and will get unbelievably upset when I say I don't want her going back since it's not doing her any good. She is a fighter, even when she struggles and things don't go right with school, especially in the past, she will not give up without a fight and will fight her corner until something is done about the problem. That's how she managed to get in the school. She knows what she wants and she wants to stay in school. She won't cope in college or in any other setting. She learns to drive in July so when she passes, she'll have more freedom then I think she'll get on with life better. She is also waiting until she's 18 and leaves school so she can run her own business. 

    I believe one of the problems here with school is her interests. She is so interested in psychology and how the brain works especially people with special needs. She wants to work with children with special needs, especially autism, therefore I believe she is learning about autism through her peers, which is another reason she doesn't want to leave. She also helps them out in school and with a couple of students, keeps an eye on them making sure they are ok. There's not much I can do. 

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