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Please help! Son not eating after facial injury

SP1983

My son is 8 and awaiting an asd assessment. We are right at the beginning of the process so a long wait yet.

Last summer he was hit in the face by his brother and knocked a tooth. This led to him not eating or drinking, refusing to close his mouth, talking funny etc. This was during a heat wave, we ended up in a&e, not much happened but they managed to get him drinking using a syringe. It took 5 days for him to eat and another 2 for him to close his mouth and talk properly.

Yesterday at school he was kicked in the face playing football and caused an injury to his mouth. He is behaving in the same way again. He says he can’t eat or drink etc as he is scared and it hurts and he thinks he will die. I’ve tried reassuring him but I’m getting no where.  I feel so useless and don’t know what to do to help him. He won’t take medicine (that’s not related to this, he never takes any anytime) so I can’t help with the pain. Each time I try and get water in him it’s a huge battle. I’ve tried to get help from the neurodivergent team but they didn’t give me any advice.

I was just wondering if anyone else has experienced anything similar and has any advice they could share. I feel like I’m banging my head against a brick wall! Thanks in advance. 

  • in reply to Catlover

    ^ This. (What Catlover said.)
    All of it really, but especially:

    Catlover said:
    It was a sudden trauma, it hurts, AND he has sensory issues, so it feels very strange for him, and the best way to deal with that is to do nothing. He doesn’t know what else to do, and doesn’t feel ready to, as he’s still processing the situation.

    Even as an adult getting wisdom teeth out I didn't want to eat anything solid for days afterwards. My kid is also the same when losing baby teeth because the new gum area is exposed it can hurt and they are afraid it will keep hurting if stuff touches the area so they dodge eating like it's the plague, but it never lasts longer than a few days to a week tops, eventually hunger set in and we plated up kiddos fave (pizza) and that ended that. Sometimes it's teh working up to the harder crunchy food that does it and you need to just let them live on soup and dipping bread for a bit until they get used to the idea that teh pain doesn't actually last forever adn it's safe to eat as usual again.

  • It was a sudden trauma, it hurts, AND he has sensory issues, so it feels very strange for him, and the best way to deal with that is to do nothing. He doesn’t know what else to do, and doesn’t feel ready to, as he’s still processing the situation.

    It will get better, he just needs time. Continue to leave drink and soft foods that he likes. He might eat and drink, or he might not. Just didn’t put any pressure on him to do so. And hide your anxiety about it, as it will make things worse. 
    Sorry, I understand how you are probably feeling right now.

  • in reply to Dawn

    Thank you for your reply, and sorry you are having so many issues with your teeth too.

    It was the first episode that triggered off the referral the CAMHS to hopefully get a diagnosis. I’m sure it is all sensory related and I really appreciate your description as I struggle to know what he is going through and he isn’t able to really tell me. 
    I’m sticking with syringing water in and hoping he will manage food soon. 
    I’m I’m so frustrating when you are looking for help and not getting anywhere. 

  • yeah the doctors should perhaps give him a xray to check his jawbone out.

    i did martial arts alot and took a few hits to the face, and one hit i took did something to the side of my jaw which it was stiff to open and close my jaw and felt like my jaw was jamming or locked sometimes.

    could be that hes dislocated or broken a part of his jaw that is important for movement like that, as eating requires constantly opening and closing up down movement of the jaw, so i think he needs a xray on his jaw if you ask me.

  • Yes, as an adult and I barely know what to say as I have to go through it all over again.  

    I had teeth extracted under a general.  I thought it would be one wisdom tooth but it was six in the end.  It was days before I dared to eat I was so scared.  I couldn't talk for weeks.  I was too scared to move my tongue in my face.  I still struggle on a daily basis to live with the sensory trauma to my face.  It's like being in a room full of loud grundge music and neon lights that no one will turn off.  They can't get plates in my mouth because I react so badly to the sensations.  It causes extreme vomit reaction and often meltdown the distress is so great.

    I didn't know I was autistic and indeed it was the reactions to my face that ultimately led me to discover that I am and get properly diagnosed.  Although fantastic to at last understand what the problem is, that doesn't help me with coping with my face.

    I understand something of what your lad is going through but don't have magic answers. 

    What I can say is you aren't alone. That this is going to be about the sensory trauma triggering his anxiety and it needs some proper sensory integration work to overcome.  It's not just about thinking erroneously that he will die, even if you get over that his body is sending him constant and terrifying danger or disgust signals, which just will not stop.  The neurodivergent team need to see him I think.  He can't go on not eating like this.  My dentist is trying to get this support for me, but is banging her head on a brick wall also, because the services that do exist are for children and the intellectually impaired only.